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Selfhosted
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I've have made a lot of progress with Tailscale once I learned how to set up an "Exit Node" which is done in the Tailscale admin page. You set up Tailscale on your network and sign in, then set it as an exit node. Then (on android at least) you open the app and hit the 3 dots and pick "use exit node" then type the IP of your service into your browser and it's magically usable.
There's also Tailscale on YouTube which has walk through a for attaching Tailscale to Docker containers, allowing access to those containers without an exit node. I've successfully done this with Audiobookshelf so I just turn on Tailscale out of the house and open the Audiobookshelf app and it connects to my private instance at home.