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submitted 7 months ago by return2ozma@lemmy.world to c/news@lemmy.world
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[-] Eezyville@sh.itjust.works 15 points 7 months ago

Do you think that stopped the wars between Christianity, Islam, and Judaism? Or even the beef between Catholics and Protestants? They will hate you merely because the Sun sets.

[-] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 19 points 7 months ago

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!”

He said, “Nobody loves me.”

I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

He said, “Yes.”

I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?”

He said, “A Christian.”

I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?”

He said, “Protestant.”

I said, “Me, too! What franchise?”

He said, “Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.”

I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.”

I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over.

-Emo Phillips

[-] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 1 points 7 months ago
this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
340 points (98.3% liked)

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