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this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy
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A detail somewhat overlooked by the previous commentor is that the simple questions about their life are much more effective when asked with genuine interest in learning about the other human being.
If one finds music interesting, perhaps asking the individual if they enjoy the sort that is playing, which opens up potential follow-up questions that's you may then use in the secret plan to learn more about this human being, their preferences, and whether further interactions might be mutually appreciated.
Yeah I agree with your perspective, I'm still not 100% sure the other lemming meant it that way. They made it sound like anyone will fall for a smile and small chat, two things I'm always wary about with someone I don't know. The main difference with you is , you are open to actually hearing what the other person has to say, and you also acknowledge the possibility that maybe there is no room for a lot of further interaction. That's more realistic and honest.
People that approach me like you describe eventually gain my trust, but it takes time. It really brushes me the wrong way when people nose in my personal life, it's not contempt from me but plain dislike to having to answer those types of questions, although it is true that is the way people approach others in most cases.