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If I don't overshoot my planned sleeping time by 1 hour doomscrolling, I'm usually sick. (lemmy.dbzer0.com)

submitted 5 months ago by db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/adhd@lemmy.dbzer0.com

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[-] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago

Always appreciate someone who doesn't have adhd coming in and giving advice like they have it all figured out. You might as well just say, have you tried not having adhd?

[-] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 6 points 5 months ago

Yeah, I know it's not necessarily going to be applicable. That's why I gave two asterisks pointing to a disclaimer about exactly that.

Anyways, the point of my comment was more to talk about my thoughts and experiences regarding sleep routines, and the fact that the "two hours of nothing stimulating before bed" is incredibly alien even to me, as a person who doesn't have ADHD.

[-] DessertStorms@kbin.social 0 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Not everything is about or for you, you don't always have to chip in, and this is a perfect example of a time where you actually have nothing of much value to contribute to the conversation so should just taken a seat and listen (if you must. Again - some things simply aren't for you and it's ok to move on without piping up).

You are literally being the top person in the meme who doesn't get it. We face several of you a day every single day of our lives.

I hope you take this opportunity to learn and do better in the future, instead of trying to justify, and continuing to centre yourself in conversations that aren't for you.

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 3 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Also consider that most folks scroll all, and don't even look at the sub

Edit so even though the second person said they have ADHD, if you thought you were just in memes, then a reply is more normal

[-] DessertStorms@kbin.social 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I know perfectly well what space I'm in, and if the NT encroaching on it didn't realise (and they did, because they were making excuses for themselves from the get go) them coming from /all would only excuse the first comment, not the rest of the thread where they make it clear that they don't care that they're talking over ND's in our own space.

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 5 points 5 months ago

You are displaying a lot of frustration. I recommend blocking them, you'll be happier

[-] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 0 points 5 months ago

Not a bad idea, but as of now there's no need in this case. I'm done having that argument (except for the one last comment I left in another branch of the thread before reading this) because it's clear that it's not accomplishing anything but frustration and wasted time. Though I guess it could still be good for DessertStorms to block me for the future, in case I misstep like this again.

[-] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 3 points 5 months ago

I'm sorry about the experiences you've faced that are justifying this anger.

I just like to join in conversations, and to me, the forum format of Lemmy and similar sites is an invitation to have a conversation. When I see something that's relatable, I often like to talk about how it's relatable, and when I get to talking, I often like to say more than just a small bit. I usually only assume that a community is exclusive when something in its sidebar says so. The sidebar here doesn't say it's for people with ADHD only, so I assumed it'd be okay for me to join in the conversation.

And yeah, talking about how I sleep probably wasn't the best thing there. I've been on the receiving end of righteous anger for giving neurotypical advice before, but I assumed that adding a disclaimer would have been enough. I'm not trying to fix you, and I understand that what works for me may not be feasible to even try for you. But I didn't see it as just talking to people with ADHD. There are neurotypical people seeing these posts too when they trend, and I was thinking the advice might possibly help one of them even if it can't help people with ADHD.

There's a good point to be made about how it's wrong for a neurotypical to co-opt an ADHD post to give advice to other neurotypicals, and I get that. I just don't really see it as that, because the advice wasn't even the primary purpose of my post (though I understand how it seems like that as it ended up being the largest paragraph.) The reason I was posting in the first place was just to talk about how it was relatable. I thought expressing a bit of solidarity and agreeing with the perspective on the top person in the meme would be a good thing. The advice was initially just a way to demonstrate that, before I went and made a whole paragraph out of it.

Sorry it came across the way it did. I'll try to be more careful about it in the future, assuming I remember.

[-] DessertStorms@kbin.social 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Lmfao, that's a lot of condescending words to say "no, I will absolutely NOT listen to the people whose space I'm encroaching on and try to learn about their experience and do better for their benefit (or simply walk away), I WILL continue to always centre myself, because that's all I care about".

I’ve been on the receiving end of righteous anger for giving neurotypical advice before

And yet the thought to, you know, just fucking not never seems to have crossed your mind..

The "experience I'm facing" that is causing me "anger" is you and your behaviour, no amount of twisting things to justify it to yourself changes that, the least you can do is take some accountability (lmfao, as if.. This entire thread is absolutely textbook NT behaviour, including the framing me as "emotional" and yourself as "logical", and you've already made it clear that you don't give a shit about the impact of your own actions).

Sorry it came across the way it did. I’ll try to be more careful about it in the future, assuming I remember.

Fuck your non apology and your insistent on there being a next time for you to be "careful about it" - you don't need to "be careful", what you need is to have some respect for spaces that aren't for you and the people they are for, and resist your desperate need to insert yourself and your unsolicited unhelpful and uninformed opinions absolutely everywhere.