139
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2024
139 points (89.3% liked)
Ask Lemmy
27027 readers
616 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
For the menfolks; how would you feel if your SO announced they were trans and began transition? Would you stay together? Or just become friends or something?
As a lady I don't know how I'd feel, I think the sexual part would be a huge loss for me. I likes the G-spot orgasms.
I would become friend. But I could not stay in a relationship with my partner. I am heterosexual, so dating a man wouldn't work for me.
This is probably more of an individual's question than a gender-based question. I would support the transition, but I'd be lying to myself if I said I'd want to be with a trans guy. I am vanilla-ass hetero.
I think I would try at least, but I'm not into lesbianism. So hard to say.
Friend, if possible. My relationship preference is for women, so, I don't see it working out.
Good question, and highly dependent. I think for the most part I'd move to being friends.
I know someone it happened to and she is still married but IDk about the sexual side.
As a trans masculine non-binary person it's more of personal conversation. My partner isn't into masculine body types so my transition ended up being purely social because my partner does more on a daily basis to contribute to my happiness then the comfort of being in a body that doesn't make me feel like shit daily. It's a bit like having a pet allergy but deciding that you can live with feeling like someone poured sand into your sinuses every day rather than giving up your furry best friend. For all purposes though our relationship is coded and treated as though I am my specified gender. We are effectively culturally a same sex couple. Neither of us use female terms for my junk and he doesn't claim to be straight. We do joke he is "queer by association" however.
But what I am doing counts as a full transition.
In regards to the what you give up situation it's all rather dependant on how adverse you are and whether someone in your relationship is able to give a little and how much you value and ultimately how non-fungible the relationship is to you... Because - just putting it out there - strap-ons do exist.
Yeah they just aren't what I want though. It's not that I wouldn't be supporting him, it's that I don't know how that part would go.
And that's fine. I do what I do because I have a mentality of non-fungibility. There aren't simply more fish in the sea, this is my person. There's not another one out there for me.
There isn't anything ethically wrong with someone with a more flexible approach to romance or someone who has a hard boundry. Not everyone is down for a sacrifice at that level for another person - and that is okay, not everyone is deserving of being the recipient of that kind of sacrifice just as everyone isn't nessisarily capable of making that kind of sacrifice. If you are only kind of happy with your relationship then that's not enough it has to be deep. It isn't nessisarily easy, it doesn't get easier and it might require daily conviction. It is a vulnerable space too. If you don't have absolute trust it's not going to work and absolute trust comes with intense emotional risk.
But on the other hand of things if your partner is dead set on doing this, you love them in a holistic way, you're in a stable environment and you are at any level unsure of your ability to be attracted to them... you could probably afford to try. You might actually surprise yourself with be how you are okay then you thought you would be - and you can set the expectation at the beginning of the process that you are unsure of yourself and don't know if it's something you can do so they know and weigh the risks as part of their transition. Not all transitions are 100%. Trans people are often very calculated about what they choose to pursue based on what they personally value out of life in a more general sense. Not everyone goes for every option and the reasons behind them are intensely personal value judgements that involve way more than just the dysphoria/euphoria hits. I think way too many people peace out of things in general before they try or fully understand something and miss out because they built molehills into mountains. The process of transition isn't lightning fast. You have time to think, to adjust, to compromise and if it really isn't working for you then you will be absolutely sure that it's not for you.
It all depends on your personal estimation of the value of the relationship you have going and how open you are to the process of self exploration to test your hypothesis about yourself against an actual real life situation. Because none of us know ourselves half so well as we think we do.
I'm not unwilling to try, that's for sure.
Then, provided this is not simply a theoretical, I wish you whatever outcome is the best for everyone in the situation you are in. May you and your partner find the most happiness whatever that outcome looks like.
Oh haha he's not doing that. It was just a hypothetical.
I'm bi.
I think it depends on the relationship. Personally, I married the person, not her genitalia. I like those too but I want the person to be with me until the day we die, far far in the future.
It wouldn't be a problem. I'm bi, and when I'm in love, it's not a question of gender expression or body.
I mean...I Guess my wife would have to get used to getting banged in the ass.
So I guess if be to down for it?
If they're going FtM, that would sadly be the end of the relationships. Can see ourselves being friends, though!