51
What makes you stand out?
(lemmy.ml)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2024
51 points (90.5% liked)
Asklemmy
43791 readers
866 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
I dislike being observed. If someone comments on me in any capacity (clothes, looks, humor, etc.) Whether positive or negative I get uncomfortable.
That being said, currently a bright orange top.
Otherwise I'm a very average looking person who wears mostly black, dark blues, and some greys.
Reminds me of Jung's theory around The Gaze, and how by ourselves we are our own subjects, capable of authoring our own paths, but as soon as another being is introduced and we're subject to their gaze, their own aspect of being a subject necessarily forces some objectification upon us (and us on them). It's interesting theory, and a good examination of why some people feel so incredibly uncomfortable with others around.
I may have to look into that to some. I've never been good around people, but specifically when they say something it's much worse.
Sort of in a similar vein, I don't like mirrors because it makes me see myself which presents an image that does not match the way I feel I present myself or my internal image of myself. it's less a matter of attraction or confidence so much as a disillusionment.
I just learned about this, and think I have it too, to an extent. I've grown more comfortable as I move age and transform closer to the hag witch I was born to be.
It's called a fear of being perceived, or scopophobia. Apparently it's common with neurodivergence (though I personally wouldn't consider myself neurodivergent- at least not enough to seek a diagnosis).
I have never heard of that, I'll definitely look into it! I was given an ND prognosis many years ago though I did not stay with the practioner long enough after to get a full diagnosis. So it's possible that plays into it.
I've gotten more accustomed as I age, definitely, comfortable maybe not so much. I am unsure if changing my appearance to closer match would change my affinity towards it, but I suppose that may be answered by looking more into the condition itself. But thank you for a name to start with
I used to feel the same way with mirrors and actually wanted to write into my will that all photos of me must be destroyed upon my death. The idea of being permanently recorded terrified me.
I think therapy really helped, since if anything my appearance has strayed further from my mental image. That's not to say it's the same for you. It's a relief to me that I'm not the only one who has felt this way, and I hope that you find some relief from the feeling itself too.
I mostly just avoid mirrors and pictures as a whole and dress really tame so its not super bad. I could definitely use therapy for a multitude of reasons but I struggle to communicate things without prompt and am quite uncomfortable with the idea of sharing very personal stuff with, well, anyone. I do go through phases of erasing myself (as much as one can) from the internet, and from my own devices though.
I am glad to hear I'm not the only one, though it's unfortunate others do suffer the same way. I do hope you continue to make progress and have it become a non-issue for you in the future
Same to you, friend.