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submitted 5 months ago by sag@lemm.ee to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev

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[-] seaQueue@lemmy.world 73 points 5 months ago

It's a picture of the people who submit zero value comment spelling fixes to the Linux kernel so they can claim "I've submitted X patches to the Linux kernel" for KPIs or resume building

[-] tourist@lemmy.world 59 points 5 months ago

"Hey Bob, you've worked on the Linux kernel before, can you handle this CPU scheduler problem we're having? Shouldn't take you too long. We need it done before lunch"

[-] mexicancartel@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 5 months ago

"Nah I was in the network driver section"

[-] DudeDudenson 14 points 5 months ago

"oh nice we're also having issues with random packets being dropped, can you look into that? It's business critical"

[-] Anticorp@lemmy.world 2 points 5 months ago

Listen bub, I don't have time for this Mickey mouse bullshit!

[-] gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works 40 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Hey man, I once had an engineering exec (who didn’t last very long) who decided engineers would be stack ranked by SLOC. You can imagine how easy that metric was to cheese, and you can also imagine exactly how that policy turned out.

Give an engineer a stupid metric to meet, and they’ll find a stupid way to meet it for you, if only out of malicious compliance.

[-] seaQueue@lemmy.world 18 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I'd have a field day with that. Max line length 70 or 75, excessively verbose function and variable names, triple the normal amount of comments, extra whitespace wherever possible, tab width 8, etc. The possibilities are endless for that metric.