So I made this cover letter and thought it showed I’d be dedicated to their field and wanting to learn. While have experience and schooling in certain fields that may benefit their business. Then that I am really good with customers?

Though I showed my mom and grandma. My mom owns a photography business and my grandma used to do interviews for churches. My grandma said that it is absolutely amazing and perfect. While my mom simply just say don’t use it but literally won’t give any explanation into her thought process… so please can anyone let me know, would this be good to use for a job application or to take into the interview?