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Lawyers for megachurch pastor blame 12-year-old for ‘initiating’ sexual contact
(www.independent.co.uk)
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this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2024
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Buddy of mine's 12-yo stepdaughter was flirting with him when they watched movies. He was horrified and confused.
"Dude, she's just testing her feminine wiles on you since she sees you as safe, kinda testing her attractiveness. Doesn't even have a clue she's doing it. Just ignore it or gently push back if she goes too far."
And of course all was well. Thought it was a cute and funny story.
And we have lawyers trying to slide this defense?! Not to mention the guy who took it seriously and raped a child! I swear to god they used to threaten disbarment over stupid shit like this.
tl;dr Kids do stupid shit when they start puberty. It's on the adult to see what's happening.
I'm in my late thirties and I have to remind myself when a younger twenty-something girl comes on to me, that is never going to work and I have to be the mature one to shut it down.
lol I like the comment but it comes across a little “look what I can do still”
That is not what I meant but I don't know how to explain it without sounding like a douche.
The point I'm trying to make is that you have to recognize your place in life and use that as reference to help other people around you.
FWIW I understood what you were saying. I am a linguist which means I’m sensitive to differing meanings that the same words and phrases have. I happened to notice it on your comment and thought it was funny.
I like the comment but comes off a little "look what I can do".
And that’s an alternative meaning that can be divined from the original statement. It was also funny.
You're correct, but keep in mind your example is still legal! The article we are discussing is not.
I get what you're saying, but let's chill out on the infantilization of women.
A 20-something-year-old woman doesn't compare to a 12-year-old.
And maybe the 20-something-year-old woman hitting on you just wants to have fun and is not thinking about anything working out with you. Presume much?
How old are you? I agree with your infantilization comment but you're wrong here. I'm middle aged. A girl in her 20s literally looks like a child to me and the older I get, the more I see it's fucking gross when older men date women that make them feel like they're fucking little girls.
You must be looking at the wrong 20yr olds, take a walk around a university campus and tell me they're kids.
And how old are you?
I'm old enough to look at 22yr olds and see them as grown women. Pretty gross to see them as anything less honestly.
The original commenter said
They didn't say anything about women being or looking like children.
It's not infantilizing to recognize that, for them, being at significantly different life stages would not be the kind of relationship they want.
You're really protecting a lot onto the other guys comments, dude. I'm only 30 and 20yr Olds look like children, both men and women. It has literally nothing to do with disrespect and everything to do perception of others as you age.
That's why they kept asking you your age. You're clearly also a child who doesn't understand it yet.
Yeah. If he's not a kid fucker, he's a kid.
Says the clown acting like grown women are kids.
Anything less? Different isn't less. I didn't say less. Distraction.
I hire and mentor women that age. I still think anyone that age, whether their gender, looks like a kid, when you're older. And I don't like fucking kids, or adults that look like kids. How gross of me.
So how old are you? Old enough to second guess how you're going to be received by responding directly?
I get what you're saying. The way I look at it is that it's different phases of life. At nearly 30 I really can't relate to someone still in college. Maybe a senior at best. I'd be flattered if they came onto me, but they're just too young for me. That doesn't mean they're like a 12 year old. It just means I want to date someone I can more closely relate to and who's had experience living and working after college.
There's a maturity factor too. I was waaaaay less mature back in my early 20s and drank and partied a lot. That's how it should be, I'm not knocking people for doing that. Being less mature isn't a bad thing when you're actually young, and you should have fun while you are. There's nothing wrong with that.
This is why I can't fathom 30+ year old men being interested in even 18 or 19 year olds. They're less mature (again, as they should be!) and at a very different stage in life. It's creepy to actually want to date them.