How long did it take you getting used to a new name/pronouns (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 3 months ago by SquishedFly@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/trans@lemmy.blahaj.zone

14 comments fedilink hide all child comments

For context: This Monday I came out to my work colleges and asked them also to call me by my new name and pronouns. Everyone is very supportive which is all that I could hope for. The only issue is, since in my family noone calls me by my actual name, not many people in my life actually call me by my chosen name (at least up until now).

With everyone at work calling me by my chosen name now, it actually feels quite a bit strange, uncomfortable and even a little embarrassing.

I did talk to my therapist about something like that once and he said that, yes, I am stepping out of my comfort zone and yes, that is uncomfortable but it's a necessary step to get better.

And yet, my brain still slaps me with that sweet sweet imposter syndrome like "how can you be trans if what you want is making you uncomfortable" and so on.

And now I'm here, asking you for similar experiences you've had to hopefully get it through my fat skull that it's a normal thing to feel (hopefully).

So. How long did it take you? Did it just click for you or was it just as uncomfortable as it is for me?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] EmilyIsTrans@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It took me a long time to be comfortable with it. I had mad imposter syndrome, feeling like I didn't "deserve" to be called it somehow. Plus I'd panic a little if someone used it in public because I was afraid of negative attention.

I'm more secure in my identity now, and its to the point now that if someone does call me my deadname (usually its some medical person of fucking course) it takes me a little to even register they're addressing me. It does get better and you're not alone in your experience 🩷

[-] SquishedFly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 months ago

Plus I'd panic a little if someone used it in public because I was afraid of negative attention.

God I feel that sooo much. I know that none cares but I still can't shake feelings like that.

[-] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 months ago

The good news is that over time you get more and more used to it. It's really just a matter of time and exposure. I still feel this way sometimes, but it is happening less frequently than 3 months ago, and even less frequently than 6 months ago.

this post was submitted on 19 Jul 2024

41 points (100.0% liked)

Trans

748 readers

8 users here now

General trans community.

Rules:

Follow all blahaj.zone rules
All posts must be trans-related. Other queer-related posts go to c/lgbtq.
Don't post negative, depressing news articles about trans issues unless there is a call to action or a way to help.

Resources:

Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.

Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en

StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/

Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/

[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map

[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination

[USA] Keep track on trans legislation and news: https://www.erininthemorning.com/

[GERMANY] Bundesverband Trans: Find medical trans resources: https://www.bundesverband-trans.de/publikationen/leitfaden-fuer-behandlungssuchende/

[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/

[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org

*this is a work in progress, and these resources are courtesy of users like you! if you have a resource that helped you out in your trans journey, comment below in the pinned post and I'll add here to pass it on

founded 9 months ago

MODERATORS

cowboycrustation@lemmy.blahaj.zone

EmilyIsTrans@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Xenia@lemmy.blahaj.zone

onevia@lemmy.blahaj.zone

good_girl@lemmy.blahaj.zone

kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone

0x2640@lemmy.blahaj.zone