392
This is good stuff (lemmy.world)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago

I'm on the autism spectrum too. I'm on my second marriage. My current partner knows I'm n the spectrum, and (mostly) accepts it. We've been married for eight years. My prior partner and I married before I was tested; they kept expecting me to change.

And now, knowing what I do, I’d not put effort towards something as hard to find and keep as love.

Here's the secret: NT people also have to put in effort to find and keep love. There are no fairy tales for anyone, and it requires effort from everyone. If you're not willing to put in that effort, then no, you're never going to find and keep love. And there aren't guarantees, because you're talking about another person, one that has their own internal life, and is making their own choices. When I practice shooting, my improvement in that area is entirely on me; my gun doesn't have it's own will. It is an extension of me. When I'm working on connecting to my partner, they still have their own agency. So if I don't seem to be making progress, that may not be me at all, but due to their choices.

[-] archonet@lemy.lol -1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Good for you, I'm glad you have better luck than I do.

You seem to think that because I'm not willing to put in effort anymore, that means I never did. Allow me to correct you. I spent long enough putting in extraordinary amounts of effort for a very long time and merely got shit on in return, but I'm glad it worked out better for you, really I am. But in so many words, I'm the one who gets to decide when I've had enough heartbreak, not you.

[-] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago

Sure, you can decide when you're done.

But in my experience, most people on the spectrum say that they're putting in effort, but they're not even putting in the bare minimum. They--by which I mean we--have skewed perceptions, because we lack a certain type of effective empathy. We have a hard time seeing ourselves the way other people might, and assume that people are able to see what we intend, rather than the results.

You can decide that you're done. You can't create a false, bullshit narrative, and then expect everyone to accept your "truth" as some kind of universally correct thing. Like, "Likewise, some of us just aren’t destined for love, be it for any myriad constellations of internal and external factors," because, hey, there's no such fucking thing as "destiny". There's no predetermination like that; having a successful relationship isn't determined by physical--or even mental--standards that are absolute. Every single potential partner has different standards and needs, so if you can't meet one person's needs, you move on. All the shit you talk about is not unique to ND people.

...Because everyone has to change and compromise in any romantic relationship.

[-] archonet@lemy.lol -2 points 3 months ago

You can't create a false, bullshit narrative, and then expect everyone to accept your "truth" [...]

and that's where I'm done reading, it's quite clear you're just here to shit-stir and I don't have time for trolls. Bye!

[-] HelixDab2@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago

[What we've got here is failure to communicate. Some men, you just can't reach. So you get what we had here last week -- which is the way he wants it. Well, he gets it.}(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=452XjnaHr1A)

this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
392 points (93.4% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26821 readers
3966 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS