874
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[-] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 9 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I had a youth pastor back before I was old enough to have started masturbating, and he gathered all the boys 'round one day to talk to us about masturbation, because the previous weeks one of the boys had made a joke about it.

Basically, the consensus at the ~~Denbigh Christian Church~~ was that ejaculation is only sinful if you're lustful. So loving sex between spouses is okay, jerking off is a sin, and wet dream can also be sins, if accompanied by dirty dreams. But the real problem is that ejaculate is, basically, your bodies reserve of energy. If you're constantly cumming, you won't have energy for other things, because your body needs that for shit like thinking, and moving.

Basically, you're wasting calories, I think?

I was 10, and very confused.

ETA: got the church wrong. Can't remember the name of the one with that youth pastor. But the Sunday school teacher at the same church (not DCC, the one I can't remember) told us that Angels hate us, because we have free will and they don't, and if it were up to them, they'd slaughter us in our sleep. They only don't because they're told not to by God.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

Better than what my grandmother (who was not the best person) told me when I was very small and taking a bath- "if you keep touching it, a man will come with a scissors and cut it off." Even now more than 40 years later, just typing it kind of freaks me out because it scared me so much.

On the other hand, it never stopped me from masturbating, so I guess she failed there.

[-] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 3 points 3 months ago

Nothing stops masturbation. Best you get is creating a complex around it.

But when I was a kid and in the "I grew a fidget spinner!" phase of the late single digits, my mom told me that it i didn't stop playing with it, it would get stuck in a random position and then I'd have to lay on my side to pee.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

That might actually encourage me.

[-] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 3 points 3 months ago

Yeah, Mama's got a great sense of humor. She was once arguing with my brother and his friend when they were teens, looked him dead in the eye and said "I should've swallowed" then took a drink of her water, as if to demonstrate. We all collectively died, and are currently ghosts

this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
874 points (99.3% liked)

Political Memes

5506 readers
1778 users here now

Welcome to politcal memes!

These are our rules:

Be civilJokes are okay, but don’t intentionally harass or disturb any member of our community. Sexism, racism and bigotry are not allowed. Good faith argumentation only. No posts discouraging people to vote or shaming people for voting.

No misinformationDon’t post any intentional misinformation. When asked by mods, provide sources for any claims you make.

Posts should be memesRandom pictures do not qualify as memes. Relevance to politics is required.

No bots, spam or self-promotionFollow instance rules, ask for your bot to be allowed on this community.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS