Sounds like you are having a really rough time, especially with trusting yourself and the world around you. And it’s not surprising at all because you’ve been hurt and abused by the medical system.

You mentioned trauma (I assume from childhood), add in the interactions you’ve had with the mental healthcare system that are also traumatic, plus any other current stress you are experiencing – no wonder you are overwhelmed.

Here’s the truth about mental healthcare in the US: you either have to be able to pay out of pocket for a good therapist or qualify for Medicaid and then know how to find a good therapist there (who will likely have a waitlist).

Community mental health centers and crisis centers have their purpose and are really important, but they are not good for healing trauma. You usually need to work with a dedicated and knowledgeable therapist for quite some time to see a difference (again, assuming childhood trauma – I could be wrong).

I understand that it’s really hard to put your trust back into the system, but there are good therapists out there. If you can afford $40-70 per session, check out Open Path Collective. You pay a $60 one-time fee and get access to a lifetime membership where you can pick therapists in your area through a directory.

You can also do work on your own! Here are some suggestions:

• Complete this wellness wheel to see what areas of your life could use some improvement.
• Learn some practical skills to heal PTSD using dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)
• Discover and practice self-compassion with this workbook by Kristen Neff

Do not under any circumstances go back to the place that gave you new psych meds each week. They should have their licenses revoked for that.

@Mekboy_nutkrakka@aussie.zone You might find some resources that suit you better at if-me.org | Resources

It really sucks that you've gotta experience that. I've had some very bad experiences in the (US) mental health care system too, even when I was fully insured. You aren't alone. Note this press release from the UN Human Rights website: World needs “revolution” in mental health care – UN rights expert.

[...]

“I am calling on States to move away from traditional practices and thinking, and enable a long overdue shift to a rights-based approach. The status quo is simply unacceptable.”

He added: “Mental health policies and services are in crisis - not a crisis of chemical imbalances, but of power imbalances. We need bold political commitments, urgent policy responses and immediate remedial action.”

Mr. Pūras said there was a “grossly unmet” need for rights-based care and support. Progress was being hindered by huge power imbalances in the systems currently used in policymaking, service provision, medical education and research. Other major obstacles included the dominance of the biomedical model, with its overdependence on medication, and the “biased” use of evidence, which was contaminating knowledge about mental health.

[...]

I'm sorry (and I'm sure you're tired of hearing that).

Have you been tested/diagnosed for ADHD? There's a lot of overlap with ASD. Medication is highly effective among ADHDers. It's not a panacea but it makes doing the work far easier.