That ending. 👌

Like Jesus (who I don’t care for because he preached wealth redistribution)

Don't know what Jesus he's talking about, the only Jesus I know is Supply-Side Jesus who preaches that greed is good and mega-church ministers need private jets

how am I supposed to suspend my disbelief that a libertarian wrote this if it doesn't even mention age of consent laws

Maybe submit posts from that site to some other community, or a dedicated one.

The unintelligent "humor" style of the writing reminded me of what Mark Twain wrote in "How to Tell a Story". Mind you, it is "Shit Americans Say" material in its own right. But referencing it here seems befitting. As one can learn a thing or two from it, especially those who want to piggyback on The Onion's name. In modern and post-modern context, learning about metairony and post-irony would probably be even more helpful, but maybe that would be too hard.