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RFK Jr. Reminds Voters He Also Keeps a Monkey With a Handgun on His Nightstand For Self Defense If They Wanna Hear About That (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 3 months ago by DxK@lemmy.world to c/theonion@midwest.social
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[-] soloner@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

I heard his story about dumping the bear corpse and holy shit... I cannot stand his voice. It's just irritating to listen to him talk about anything. Had no idea he sounded like that lol

[-] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 11 points 3 months ago

His voice is the result of a medical condition called spasmodic dysphonia.

[-] soloner@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

Damn that sucks....

[-] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

I'm gonna need to see that monkey's gun license pls.

[-] dogsnest@lemmy.world 10 points 3 months ago

The monkey has a right bare arm.

[-] WHYAREWEALLCAPS@fedia.io 7 points 3 months ago

Does he have a left bear arm?

[-] Wytch@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 months ago

No unfortunately he has the right two bear arms

[-] Drunemeton@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

~Awkward clapping~

[-] seahorse@midwest.social 2 points 3 months ago

That monkey has a right to defend itself (and RFK Jr.) if someone breaks into their house to steal their bananas.

[-] EleventhHour@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago

RFK, Jr. is bananas enough for everyone.

[-] solomon42069@lemmy.world 5 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

It took me going to that site to realise this was satire. I just figured for RFK JNR this headline made perfect sense.

this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2024
161 points (96.5% liked)

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