“I’m the most spontaneous wildcat in the fucking world,” he said. “You tell me let’s go, I’m there.”

Ayala agreed to an interview, but only if he would be paid. WIRED declined.

I keep imagining how hard Wired’s journalist must have been laughing when the guy with the personality of a particularly bland teenage try-hard demanded to be paid to promote his shitty pump and dump to Wired’s readers

One creator promised to pour milk over his supposed mother’s breasts, but only once his coin reached a $300,000 valuation.

fucking what? who is this even for?

Man I can't even laugh at this one it just makes me feel melancholy.

incredible, cryptocurrency has democratised (looks at cards) hunger-games style exploitation of human life and dignity for profit

This year, to put their coins on the map (...) a pair of creators rubbed up against one another in their underwear

Okay, those two clearly just wanted to do that but were so deep in the closet it had to be a "crypto marketing scheme".

Pump.Fun sounds a lot like pump'n'dump.