888
submitted 3 months ago by blibla@slrpnk.net to c/programmerhumor@lemmy.ml

I'm not a cat i swear

top 46 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] apprehentice@lemmy.enchanted.social 58 points 3 months ago

I only know how to type my passwords at normal speed correctly. Like, I have to walk through the muscle memory step by step to get a text version of the password and even that's iffy.

[-] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 31 points 3 months ago

In the rare occasions that my wife needs to use my phone, I need to type my (12 digit) pincode out on a number pad and read it back to her to be sure I get it right. I can type it flawlessly a dozen times a day but if I try to recite it, I screw up the order.

[-] WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 22 points 3 months ago

I hate when I try to remember my master password without typing it and panic that I've forgotten my password. But when I got to type it, muscle memory is still there so no problem.

[-] xthexder@l.sw0.com 11 points 3 months ago

I have absolutely no clue what my highschool locker combination is, but I guarantee you if you handed me the lock, I could open it first or second try. That muscle memory is burned deep into my hands, and it's been over 10 years.

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 47 points 3 months ago

Two RJ ports on a laptop? Some of us are lucky to get one!

[-] AkatsukiLevi@lemmy.world 22 points 3 months ago
[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 18 points 3 months ago

That's why I didn't specify which kind. I knew some laptops had a DSL or dial-up modem inside for use with any telephone sockets on the go.

[-] AkatsukiLevi@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

"I miss those old ports" is what I'd say, but my laptop has 'em :3

[-] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 3 points 3 months ago

Both? Are they combined into a hybrid port that works with either protocol?

[-] AkatsukiLevi@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Nope, it has the RJ45 in the side and the RJ11 in the back

[-] Davel23@fedia.io 28 points 3 months ago

Where's the "check Caps Lock key" step?

[-] AkatsukiLevi@lemmy.world 8 points 3 months ago

My laptop has a LED that lights up when the caps lock is on I installed a buzzer on it

[-] ulterno@lemmy.kde.social 3 points 3 months ago

I installed a buzzer on it

Definitely want to do that on all keyboards at work

[-] embed_me@programming.dev 6 points 3 months ago

I disabled the caps lock key all together

[-] psud@aussie.zone 6 points 3 months ago

How do you then activate cruise control for cool?

[-] glaber@lemm.ee 4 points 3 months ago

Colemak gang

[-] DirkMcCallahan@lemmy.world 23 points 3 months ago

And on the third try, you think you accidentally failed to hit the last key, and so you have to start all over again.

[-] T156@lemmy.world 12 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Or it turns out you accidentally left caps lock on, and now you're locked out for a few minutes.

[-] turbowafflz@lemmy.world 20 points 3 months ago

I just never slow down and take like 10 attempts sometimes. I don't know why, it isn't a good strategy

[-] shoulderoforion@fedia.io 7 points 3 months ago

"mars will come to fear my botany power"

[-] veganpizza69@lemmy.vg 20 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Fourth try: total motion blur

Trust the muscle memory.

[-] sirico@feddit.uk 15 points 3 months ago

This incident will be reported.

[-] akilou@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 months ago

First try: password manager

Job done

[-] AkatsukiLevi@lemmy.world 24 points 3 months ago

Unlock the password manager

[-] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 3 months ago

EZ, no password on password manager.

[Points at head]

[-] variants@possumpat.io 18 points 3 months ago

How do you use a password manager at desktop login

[-] veganpizza69@lemmy.vg 5 points 3 months ago

You implant a chip in your brain that gives it control over your finger movement.

[-] Pringles@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago

That would be weirdly secure

[-] WhatAmLemmy@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Until someone hacks your brain, or just puts a keyboard in front of you and lets the chip do its thing without your consent.

[-] psud@aussie.zone 3 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Working from home, connecting to a VM, you can use a password manager on your machine to log into the VM

And your home machine can be always logged on, or fingerprint unlock, or USB stick unlock or whatever

[-] FierySpectre@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Use it on your phone, duh :P

Jokes aside I wish windows supported pin+hardware key to log in... But alas that's an enterprise only thing.

[-] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 12 points 3 months ago

First try: Normal fast
Second try: Push harder in case a key didn't register, still normal fast
Third try: Only use a single finger, selecting every key carefully

[-] independantiste@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Especially when your password gets reset after 3 fails like at my job, I DON'T want to deal with IT

[-] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 1 points 3 months ago

Or the storage encryption system just wipes the fault after the third incorrect try...

[-] tiramichu@lemm.ee 10 points 3 months ago

Not seen Nagato in a while

[-] expatriado@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

login negato

[-] devfuuu@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

The disappearance of Yuki Nagato.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

types sarcastically slowly

[-] acockworkorange@mander.xyz 4 points 3 months ago

Live fast and die young. Don’t ever slow down. If the account locks, then it locks.

[-] lnxtx@feddit.nl 4 points 3 months ago

fourth try: just use a password manager at this time.

[-] RiQuY@lemm.ee 8 points 3 months ago

Then, same shit will hapen when entering the master password.

[-] psud@aussie.zone 2 points 3 months ago

The worst is when the password manager (KeePass in this case) is in quick unlock mode in its default configuration "enter the last four characters of your password"

Me: like I can remember how my password ends. Just let me type the whole thing

[-] pmarcilus@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 3 months ago

U are supposed to fix it, password manager, not join them!

[-] psud@aussie.zone 4 points 3 months ago

I had a boring job years ago. We didn't have web access in the office, we did have a typing tutor program

I could already type

So I decided to learn to type again

So now I type on a dvorak layout except for the first login where I must use qwerty. About the time the password expires and must be changed I get to the point where it's muscle memory in both layouts

[-] Gustephan@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

I get around this by setting my passwords to something easy to type like *******

Completely unrelated, does anybody know why my bank balance always goes back to 0 immediately after my paystubs are deposited?

[-] KoalaUnknown@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

First Try

Scans finger

Use a password manager

this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024
888 points (99.0% liked)

Programmer Humor

32706 readers
1303 users here now

Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)

Rules:

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS