Asklemmy

Someone's gonna need a poop knife after day 3...

posting for posterity. what a way to start the lemmy journey. and godspeed to op, shine on you crazy diamond.

This is the weirdest fucking thing I've seen on the Internet in a long time.

I'm honestly more curious about this than I was about any of the locked safes.

You are either camping with other people or are in some kind of military activity. You don't want to poop because you are embarrassed of how it smells and the people you were with on a previous occasion gave you an extremely hard time over it. Did I guess right? Please, poop in a hole or something, whatever it takes

My guess: Airsoft or paintball MilSim (Military-Simulation) operation. OP is a sniper. There is an ambush. Long-shot: re-enactment of The killing of Osama Bin Laden. OP's crush is there. OP's butthole is sore, so they want a few days of no toilets to allow their bottom to heal.

Well... just don't eat. You don't need to eat for 3 days to survive during that time

This is the birth of something great

Just wanna say I was here when this became the first Lemmy meme

The transformation is complete we are officially better than reddit.

Mysterious post indeed. Yet, it's the asking of such an intimate, specific question in the most open of spaces what I find truly fascinating 😶

Jesus wtf lol, this is one of those posts that's going to become a copypasta

I was here lmao. Starting to love lemmy

I’m so happy I’m here!

Truly an amazing post that needs a follow-up. We wait eagerly for the results of this journey. You crazy motherfucker lmfao

Hard boiled eggs. Astronauts love them because they are almost completely absorbed and pooping in space is a hassle.

There are many people in long term care homes who survive only on nutritional drinks.

Keep in mind that you'll need to put your plan into action a few days in advance because you'll still have food working its way through your system a day or two after your last solid meal.

You're putting so much effort to avoid pooping... but you should put the same effort into making sure that once this whole thing is over, there's a toilet you can sit on for a few hours without being interrupted. If I was you, I'd choose one in advance and call there for a reservation.

lol this is hilarious, and I also hope you're okay, OP!

Now, some say this is the first Lemmy meme. I'm not sure that's the case, for what it's worth. However, it does feel exciting to see a meta moment like this! So absurd! 😂

What the fuck?

Imodium

https://youtu.be/Z54XNJivHOs I was there at the dawn of the third age of mime kind

This sounds like you're on the hajj and don't want to use the crappy bathrooms and wait till you're in the hotel to poop. I would say drink lots of water, have some nuts and dates, drink some of the juices, stay away from rice and meat dishes. Enjoy the experience while you're there!

Ok i avoided replying to this for long enough. Based on your requirements, I'm making the following recommendations:

• Nutrient-rich meal replacement bars: These bars are designed to provide a balanced mix of macronutrients (carbohydrates, protein, and fat) and essential vitamins and minerals. They are often fortified to meet nutritional needs, making them a convenient and space-saving option. However, they should not be relied upon as the sole source of nutrition for an extended period of time.

• Dried fruits and nuts: Dried fruits are a concentrated source of natural sugars, fiber, and some essential nutrients. They provide energy and can help satisfy hunger. Nuts, on the other hand, are a good source of healthy fats, protein, and fiber. They offer satiety and provide a range of beneficial nutrients.

• Jerky: Jerky, typically made from lean meats, is a good source of protein and can provide energy. It is compact, lightweight, and doesn't require refrigeration. Be mindful of the sodium content.

• Meal replacement shakes: These shakes are formulated to provide a balance of macronutrients and essential micronutrients. They often contain protein, carbohydrates, healthy fats, and a blend of vitamins and minerals. They are easy to consume and require minimal preparation.

• Energy gels: Energy gels are designed to provide quick energy in the form of simple carbohydrates. They are often used by athletes during intense physical activities. While they offer a rapid energy boost, they do not provide substantial nutrients beyond carbohydrates.

I have the solution because I too have been in this exact situation, but you can't eat much or you'll be extremely uncomfortable.

The day before you go, drink a full bottle of magnesium citrate. This will cause liquid diarrhea and completely empty you out. This is used before Colonoscopies to give the doctor a clear view.

Then for the next 3 days eat very little while taking 3 immodium each day.

You're welcome.

Dude the submersible's gone, there isn't gonna be another trip down there. Get your $250,000 back and do something meaningful with your life.