The 5th cheese is always ricotta. Like, no shade to ricotta, but if I wanted fancy cottage cheese, I would be eating lasagna. Not to mention that it is the number two stomach killer of cheeses, right behind the cheese your dad insists he just bought, but it has a promo on it for a signed ball by Stockton and Malone. That cheese is so old and moldy it has basically become a more expensive cheese.

Nobody wants a five cheese pizza. That is when they break out the weird cheeses.

There aren’t even any tomatoes on it. He really did lose the wrong son.

Five pizzas?

Boromir would have-a brought-a five.

Boromir would have brought one with tomatoes on it

When your son brings you a pizza but there's no tomato sauce.

Well yeah you fucking cannibal.