388
Anon has a plan (sh.itjust.works)
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 77 points 6 days ago

Etymologists crying and shaking right now at the thought of Antarctica (meaning: without bears) gaining the one animal it's not supposed to have

[-] SirSamuel@lemmy.world 25 points 6 days ago

I read that as entomologist for a second and was really confused

Figured it had something to do with fleas

[-] John_CalebBradberton@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago

This comment sent me down a rabbit hole. I had no idea the arctic is called that because it was the Greek for 'of the bear' because they used Ursa Major to guide them north. And the the arctic is the most northerly point.

Fucking wild. Mind blown.

[-] Wirlocke@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 days ago

And it's a hilarious coincidence that it resulted in the southern most point being Antarctica, as it just happens to be the only continent without bears.

[-] cevn@lemmy.world 4 points 6 days ago

Wdf how are we just learning this?! Can’t they teach it with the continent names??

[-] Dragonstaff@leminal.space 3 points 6 days ago

I'm not saying this will definitely reverse the Earth's polarity and doom all life on earth, but do we really want to take that chance?!

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 87 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Antarctica is generally colder than the Arctic. They would almost certainly be stuck along the coastlines of Antarctica like the penguins are, since the interior average temperatures rival the coldest ones ever recorded in the Arctic. They should be fine there, but then that means they have a very limited distribution and that penguins and seals consequently are always forced to share an environment with the polar bears. Because they're not used to the polar bears, their populations would likely be destroyed, leaving the polar bears to starve. Unlike in the Arctic, too, they would have nowhere to retreat if their food supply ran out. Outward is hundreds of kilometers of ocean, and inward is hundreds of kilometers of unsurvivable desert.

[-] Monument@lemmy.sdf.org 33 points 6 days ago

they would have nowhere to retreat if their food supply ran out.

Um. Hello? There are scientists there.


Which means scientific papers, then tourists, then garbage and a symbiotic relationship, then the eventual domestication of polar bears.
Not, you know, the international scientific community treating scientists like cats.

[-] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

"Return Eenie or we feed another physicist to the bears. We know you fuckers took him."

[-] SGforce@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 days ago

Always wondered what it would have been like had we domesticated these things

These limbs were adapted for efficient long-distance pacing, rather than the explosive acceleration and high speed pursuits

Terrifying

Idk, I think polar bears would domesticate the scientists before scientists domesticated the polar bears.

[-] celsiustimeline@lemmy.dbzer0.com 46 points 6 days ago

It would work until the polar bear population collapses in a couple generations due to inbreeding.

[-] fuckingkangaroos@lemm.ee 27 points 6 days ago

And once they eat all the penguins and starve

[-] MirthfulAlembic@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago

St. Matthew Island with polar bears instead of reindeer.

[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 34 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

4 million buy a freight boat

I work in supply chain but not a complete expert but the smallest cheapest working order freight ship I can find for sale is this one for $6MM, doesn't include licensing, crew, insurance and the dreyage/accessorial on live polar bears is gonna cost you big

https://petronav.net/container-ships-for-sale/container-adilia-i-ex-e-r-auckland

[-] petersr@lemmy.world 10 points 6 days ago

Does it really need to be a big container ship?

Didn't people transport stuff in smaller boats back in the day?

(You still make a valid point though)

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 14 points 6 days ago

Idk, polar bears are really heavy, and it takes a long time to get from one end of the planet to the other, so you want something secure to store the bears in. That means a bigger ship that can handle angry bears hurling themselves at the walls of their cage, because they will wake up during the journey, and they won't be happy.

[-] Walk_blesseD@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 6 days ago

Just do it while they're hibernating 4head

For some reason, just imagining this is fucking hilarious. OOP on a shipping container being mutinied by dozens of feral pissed of polar bears

[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 days ago

they did specify freight! although getting The Cutty Sark back in working order is probably even more costly.

[-] Ibaudia@lemmy.world 31 points 6 days ago

I think the penguins would learn to just swim away, and the bears would starve since they would need to expend a lot of effort for a small bird versus the calorie-dense seals they're used to.

[-] Olgratin_Magmatoe@lemmy.world 11 points 6 days ago

To be fair, some penguins aren't exactly small

[-] blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 21 points 6 days ago

That is a king penguin, not even the tallest subspecies (emperors are taller), but what you're looking at is an optical illusion because the penguin is much closer to the camera than the humans.

[-] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 1 points 5 days ago

Damn, well I'm leaving it up anyways.

load more comments (6 replies)
[-] therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip 19 points 6 days ago

Then you have a penguin population crisis

[-] blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 8 points 6 days ago

Tbf we already have that due to glacier melt

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] SomeAmateur@sh.itjust.works 20 points 6 days ago

This reminds me of a friend that once proposed that if we really wanted to mess with Europe we could release a few packs of coyotes

[-] Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

It depends on the goal. For example it'd work if you want to render every penguin species endangered or worse.

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 14 points 6 days ago

I was really hoping OP wanted to drop the polar bears on a tropical island. For science.

[-] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 6 days ago

only if you can find some weird magnetic anomaly and plane crash survivors

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Neal Stephenson book, Termination Shock.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2024
388 points (98.7% liked)

Greentext

4208 readers
873 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS