They seem ritualistic social interactions. Like some bird's courtship dance except there's no relationships interest. So it's just a burden that I didn't want to participate in unless I have a genuine friendship.
This poor individual has never been in a lasting relationship.
If you can’t talk, in full, with your partner such that you somehow need small talk, that’s not a relationship, it’s a one night stand that happens to last for 3 months to a year.
As other people in this thread have said, it's usually more about the person than it is the topic. I'm happy to hear my wife talk about the weather tomorrow but if the guy behind me in line at the store does it I'm answering in grunts and annoyed expressions.
but seriously free will does not exist.
But I saw him jump over those rocks in the movie, Free Willy has to exist!
Imagine having a relationship based on talking about the weather today. I talk about things I enjoy talking about. If I don't have anything to say then quiet is peaceful. 😊
Talking philosophy is small talk.
Person: Hey you having a good morning?
Me: Depends... What does it mean to be a good person?
How do people who don't like the color chartreuse expect to color things? Chartreuse is my favorite color!
When family/friends asks you how you are doing but don't listen to the answer that really sucks. Or they hear what they expect and make a comment that clearly means they weren't listening. Personally I found that too much of small talk is someone saying or asking something with no intention of listening. Maybe they think they are being polite or some social obligations to talk but I hate it. If I ask "How you doing?" "How's work?" I'm going to listen to your answer. If I make a comment about the weather and you comment back I will listen.
how do people who "hate small talk" plan on being in sustained meaningful relationships
That's the neat part--I don't!
Breathe, son.
Honestly, I always engage in small talk. You can hate it but I see you on a regular basis and I'm always attempting to make a connection, one day we will connect.
I tell jokes. I don't really do small talk. But, yes most conversations are deeply personal and deeply philosophical. I have lots of great friends, a lovely wife, a good job and fantastic kids. So yes, you can do just fine with almost no small talk. Become yourself, not what some unimaginative poster on the internet desperate for validation of their opinions thinks people should or shouldn't become.
Some people view certain talk as smalltalk but im always up to know about the weather or bad traffic or anything I can avoid or indulge in if I can.
That's exactly how my wife and I do things.
I mean, yeah? That's always been my relationships, I've only ever had pretty long-term ones.
Do y'all literally talk to your significant others about the goddamn weather or food every day?
Idk about y'all but in my current relationship I'd usually start with an in-depth analysis of some latest media I consumed or a geopolitical development, we'll be briefly reflecting upon developments in Palestine or Ukraine or UK politics or the latest on the US election while we share a couple Red Bulls and try new Elfbar flavours.
Sometimes this descends into a hearty debate on economics like whether increased taxation can raise the value of currency through demand creation (technically but it's not an effective measure), however eventually i will be pivoting into a technology I had learned about or historical context for some such, perhaps reflecting upon my cybersec exploits, relating to my independent study or my dayjob.
At some point she'd relate it to a material or technique she's been studying for her masters in material engineering, she'd remark on disliking inorganic chemistry, and we'd get into in-jokes, (latest being about Aerobiz 2000 for the Sega Genesis and my interest in the inner workings of an A320 and less than stellar business acumen) which will inevitably make us watch a video essay on YT or play a light game together like Life is Strange or HOI4 or even just listen to some music, later we'd order some Domino's Pizza and have some intimate times, a couple of nice sweet Barefoot wines and maybe a bit of Kinder Chocolate (not Bueno) for dessert later, we're asleep.
Sometimes we get nostalgic and talk about what life was like before we met on Tinder or talk about our future dreams, plans and aspirations.
I think smalltalk is okay when you're in a work meeting and you just want the coworkers to go away as soon as possible and let you get back to sleep, but I'd never date someone who is so socially inept that they would resort to smalltalk.
Personally I think that small talk is also regional. Some places small talk might be discouraged at a store while other places it might be encouraged. The same might be for the subway, a restaurant, the bathroom, etc, depending on the country or culture it may be totally ok or exceptionally discouraged.
People tweeting stuff. We allow tweets from anyone.
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