This reminds me of the story about some old dude's dog that always shits on my neighbor's sidewalk. One day neighbor saw that and run to that guy with scary look on his face. He started scolding old guy that he should clean after his dog and old guy respond he's too old to do that, his back hurt and stuff. The dog saw the whole thing and in a shame he just ate his own shit so poor old man didn't have to clean it up.

my angel went one level derper.

he took a shit, ate it, puked up that eaten shit, then started eating that shitty puke... which he puked.

had to throw out that sofa.

God gives his sweetest humans to his hungriest angels.

What do you expect of a homicidal god with double standards?

Demons were angels once...

Have no fear, my child

B E N O T A F R A I D

Well I like dogs but they certainly aren't angles

Right? These comments are wild. I used to browse r/dogfree because I thought it was (mostly) satire and OTT on purpose, and I'd laugh at a lot of it. I thought it was parodying something else.

Every once in a while there'd be stories that made me empathize and feel bad for the person, like some people were saying that they had severe debilitating allergies and they couldn't frequent their favorite restaurants anymore because pet patios were installed - yeah that sucks.

Some stories were even straight up super sad, like people who were traumatized from being bitten/attacked earlier on in their lives. Yeah - I'd probably be wary of dogs too if that happened to me.

But the vast majority of those comments were like "OMG DOGS STINK AND THEY SLOBBER EVERYWHERE. HOLY SHIT THEY LICK THEIR NUTS LOL FUCK DOGS AMIRIGHT?! THEY POOP ON THE FLOOR - GROSS." I genuinely thought those were purposeful parody stories because hating dogs for just existing is such a...weird stance.

Apparently it's a thing though 🤷‍♀️.

Yeah I get a lot of online content is about cats, but hating dogs is just weird as hell

Where the fuck did you have to see that?

A hot, sexy angel, as the TV keeps telling me.

But let's be honest, God has killed way more people than Satan. Dude brags about it too, with his rainbows meaning

"Haha, I promise not to hit you anymore... but I could."

Which is funny because how would you even defy an omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent being?

Though the old testament did write them more as old friends that disagreed on some things rather than bitter enemies, having bets and fucking with humans for their amusement. Kinda like the whole thing was made up by a bunch of different people at different times who didn't all have a strong grasp on what real power was and thought it required anger like a human with power that only exists because of threats of violence and were really just trying to turn their wise reputation into their own power backed by a vengeful god's power.

👶🐕 ✝️🍆💦

Angels in Evangelion: 🔹

That mole was coming right for you! That angel saved your life!