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Florida inmate compares herself to 'Virgin Mary' after getting pregnant from saran-wrapped semen tossed into air vent by fellow prisoner (www.latintimes.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago by Emperor@feddit.uk to c/andfinally@feddit.uk
69 comments fedilink hide all child comments

29-year-old Daisy Link was being held at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center in Miami-Dade County, Florida, when she met 24-year-old Joan Depaz, initially contacting him through the vents in their prison cells, according to WSVN7.

"You would knock on it and you can hear the people from the different floors. You would stand on the toilet actually to be able to talk to them," said Link. "Being in isolation for so long you begin to spend hours and hours talking to this person, you know, to the point where it's almost as if you're in the same room with them."

...

After Link and Depaz began a romantic relationship, Depaz shared his ambitions to have a child with Link, according to WSVN 7News.

"I always really wanted to have a baby. And I'm not gonna get to do that for a really long time," said Depaz, recounting what he told Link. "So if I had to choose somebody, you know, it would be you. And she was like, 'Yeah, we could do that.'"

Depaz and Link then hatched a plan to create a direct line between each other's cells using bedding. Once they had established this, Depaz began sending Link his own semen wrapped in saran wrap.

...

"I put the semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight" he continued.

Link described receiving the packages, which were rolled up "almost like a cigarette", administering them to herself using yeast infection applicators.

After a couple of attempts, Link became pregnant with "a miracle baby", conceiving "like the Virgin Mary," according to Depaz.

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[-] Emperor@feddit.uk 128 points 3 weeks ago

Who says romance is dead?

[-] state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Those two cookies are in for murder 1 and murder 2 plus other violent offenses. Just in case other people were wondering why they said they wouldn't get a chance to be a parent for a very long time.

The proud father:

And the happy mother:

[-] SleafordMod@feddit.uk 118 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

An image of Jeff Goldblum in the movie Jurassic Park, with a quote he says in that movie: "Life, uh, finds a way"

[-] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 14 points 3 weeks ago

Not like this Jurassic Park Scientist man. 😭

Not like this.

[-] essteeyou@lemmy.world 57 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

5 times a day for a month!?

Where's he getting that much Saran wrap in jail?

[-] misterdoctor@lemmy.world 24 points 3 weeks ago

I got the sense that he was stockpiling his…product, and then shipping it over the border once he had accumulated enough for a proper insemination attempt. I hate everything about what I just typed.

[-] phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 46 points 3 weeks ago

Considering that sperm die pretty fast outside the body it's more likely it was "fresh".

[-] itslilith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 5 days ago

Explains why it took a month tho

[-] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 18 points 3 weeks ago

I hate everything that I have read

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[-] socsa@piefed.social 55 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Anyone can be a father. But it takes semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight to be a dad.

[-] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 50 points 3 weeks ago

And they say romance is dead

[-] humble_pete_digger@lemm.ee 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

They might be in there for a long time, no conjugal allowed. It's possible when they get out - they won't be able to have kids, so they did this.

Us prison system is a brutal dehumanizing place

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[-] dotslashme@infosec.pub 50 points 3 weeks ago

That headline just got wilder with every word

[-] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 48 points 3 weeks ago

Still a better love story than Twilight?

[-] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 18 points 3 weeks ago

Absolutely. If nothing else, I'm not hoping everyone involved dies at the end, which is a massive change from twilight

[-] Zip2@feddit.uk 44 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

The Shaw-wank Redemption?

Edit: Or Sore-shaft Redemption.

[-] Emperor@feddit.uk 17 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I was coming on here to post: Sure-wank Impregnation but Frankensteining the two gets us:

The Sore-wank Impregnation

[-] Hikermick@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

"Every day like five times a day for like a month straight"

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[-] Supervisor194@lemmy.world 36 points 3 weeks ago

Huh, I need to re-read the Gospels, I don't remember the part about Mary stuffing semen she got from the HVAC vents into her cooter. God indeed works in mysterious ways.

[-] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 35 points 3 weeks ago

So that's how God did it, huh?

[-] Emperor@feddit.uk 16 points 3 weeks ago

The Bible hand-waves away some steps, but pretty much.

[-] fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk 33 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

To save any other Britons having to search it, "Saran Wrap" is American for "Cling Film".

[-] I_Miss_Daniel@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago

And for the Australians, Glad Wrap.

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[-] socsa@piefed.social 9 points 3 weeks ago

Honestly we mostly call it cling film too

[-] janNatan@lemmy.ml 23 points 3 weeks ago

"Plastic wrap" is the most common term in my area.

[-] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 21 points 3 weeks ago

We call it "sperm saver".

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[-] celeste@kbin.earth 33 points 3 weeks ago

It's the tokophobia talking, but I do find it fascinating how much people can want to be pregnant.

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[-] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago

[-] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 23 points 3 weeks ago

Life uh, finds a way.

[-] gramie@lemmy.ca 20 points 3 weeks ago

I don't know, I am more inclined to believe that they found a way to meet up and have sex, but they are trying to hide that so they don't get into trouble. Maybe the facility is going along with it, so they don't get into trouble either.

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[-] njm1314@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago

Who wants to take the odds on this actually being a guard's kid after the DNA test is done?

[-] humble_pete_digger@lemm.ee 11 points 3 weeks ago

They are accused murderers. Meaning they won't likely getting out till old AF and never going to be able to have kids.

There is very good chance they did this for that reason.

[-] BedSharkPal@lemmy.ca 16 points 3 weeks ago

I read that as Satan-wrapped and I had questions. Then I read it correctly... still many questions.

[-] Emperor@feddit.uk 8 points 3 weeks ago

It's questions all the way down.

[-] PrimeMinisterKeyes@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago

This reminded me of a story in "Archipelago Gulag." Bear in mind, some gulags were absolutely vast.
So at least in this particular gulag, women and men had separate dormitories, but men often visited the ladies' huts and openly got it on, resulting in a lot of pregnancies. Pregnant women didn't need to work and after their 2nd (3rd?) child, they were discharged and could go home.
The guards finally managed to keep the intruders out, but now, men and women just met after work, out in the open. Guards put up barbed wire to gender-separate the areas. Pregnancies surged even harder. How so? You see, the wire did not touch the ground in all places. So the men got down under the wire, on their backs. The women squatted down, and...
The guards then put up a solid fence, but good jumpers/ climbers could get over it, so... pregnancies, still. Finally, they made the fence so tall that the baby-making stopped... almost entirely.

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 13 points 3 weeks ago

Hopefully these two never meet in person because their relationship would suddenly end very quickly.

That poor kid that gets born from this relationship though ..... "Hey! are you that guy/gal that got born from the prison Virgin Mary? I heard of that story years ago on the internet!"

[-] GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 weeks ago

"Did you love mommy a lot-alot?!"

Son

hand on your shoulder

It's like this...

[-] x00z@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

Getting a child in prison.

What could go wrong?

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[-] chunkystyles@sopuli.xyz 11 points 3 weeks ago

"Potion seller, I need your strongest potions."

[-] Marthirial@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

Mommy, where do babies come from? The Stork, love, you, the pipes.

[-] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 weeks ago

Congrats on taking on child support payments from your fucking jail cell, m'dude.

[-] MrPoletki@feddit.uk 6 points 2 weeks ago

spits out coffee

wwwhhhhhhaaaaattt?

[-] Mickey7@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

OK. I read this and know that I just didn't die soon enough

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this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2024
254 points (97.7% liked)

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