this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2025
357 points (96.6% liked)

Greentext

5946 readers
1820 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 23 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] protist@mander.xyz 106 points 3 months ago (2 children)

If you go to a bar and mention quietly to someone that it's your birthday, you're probably going to meet some people

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 97 points 3 months ago

Shower first for best results.

[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

How quietly should I whisper to these new friends?

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 9 points 3 months ago

"hello there, I'm a little baby today...."

[–] haywire7@lemmy.world 45 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Birthdays late December/early January suck.

Everyone is busy, everywhere puts the prices up if you do manage to get people together and then there's the joint Xmas and birthday gifts, ugh.

Anon needs to get out to a all you can eat buffet, eat a good meal go home and sleep it off. Probably won't land them a partner but they'll get to try a bunch of foods and have a conversation starter for when they do meet up with someone.

[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 8 points 3 months ago (1 children)

As a right next to Christmas birthday, I think we should be allowed to change them to summer if we want. 😤

[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

As someone with a birthday right in the middle of summer, the weather is nice but it feels lonely af too because everyone is on vacations

[–] JokeDeity@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

Not my cohort, we broke folk.

[–] arockinyourshoe@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago

My sister had a friend growing up that had their birthday in late December, and she recalls how much she hated having joint birthday/Christmas presents. She could see other kids get gifts for their birthdays and Christmas, why couldn't she?

Now that my sister has a kid of her own, she's determined to make sure the holidays and his birthday are completely separate, and I am completely behind her in that decision.

[–] MXX53@programming.dev 1 points 2 months ago

Works great for me. I hate celebrating my birthday. The People that do know my birthday usually forget with the other festivities. Wins all around.

[–] FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 35 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

during AN robbery

no friends

Yeah, I see..

[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 22 points 3 months ago

AN birthday cake

[–] YungOnions@sh.itjust.works 19 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Let it on me bedroom

[–] avieshek@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Invite sexworkers and just share them cakes, I got 6 or 7 of them just so all can laugh and sleep together. Free snacks, wifi, games ✌︎