668
The last thing I said before going under general anesthesia a couple of weeks ago was "I don't think it's working." Because I'm a fucking genius.
Y'all showed up for this post! Lemmy is looking better all the time :)
TW: Existentialism/Death
Not a funny thing to say before going out, but when I was about to do the mask I thought about what it would be like to be totally unconscious after I die, and woke up laughing and cracking jokes. It wasn't so bad during the procedure when my awareness was off 😜
If I'm not back by morning...call the president.
“This could be a software problem, can we try turning me off and on again?”
I said "wow, that's strong".
When I woke up I was like, " It's really good dope". I've never done anything other than weed.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Now I lay me down to sleep, the chaos take my soul to keep. If I should die, before I wake, the Lords of Chaos my vengeance to take.
Or Joe Pesci, he gets shit done.
Last time I had surgery, I think I made a comment about the surgeon's good taste in music. I was in Argentina, but the surgeon was listening to US 80s music :)
I actually did this one.
I was having my wisdom teeth removed. I was like 23. The anesthesiologist was a cute little blonde chick. Apparently the last thing I said before I went under was "Man this girl is a real...knockout..."
I didn't get her number.
Man, that's rough, fingers crossed for you yo!!!
Also, "I'll see you in there."
Good luck op! I hope it's a success Friday!
"Damn, I really need to take a shit..."
"I usually prefer isoflurane, but I'll take a hit of this" only works if they don't use isoflurane.
"So this was what it was like for my victims" if you want to go dark.
"Hey, who's that tall, hairy woman in white dress behind you?"
I only know when you wake up you ask, "what year is it." If you can manage it.
"Is now a bad time to tell you guys I smoke crystal meth and use other amphetamines?" Real zinger, they love it
It's funny for you, but definitely not funny to them. They will have to pause and go through everything with you again if they think there is even the slightest chance you are telling the truth. Anthstisiea and street drugs definitely don't mix.
Make comments unrelated to your actual procedure.
"hope the transplant goes well." / "really looking forward to this m to f transition"
this post was submitted on 25 Oct 2023
668 points (96.8% liked)
Ask Lemmy
27210 readers
1418 users here now
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com.
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS