bradorsomething

I’ve recently made a goal of getting shiny Jirachi for a christmas present for someone, so I dusted off this quest chain and have set to work. I haven’t found much useful research, so I wanted to share my findings in a comprehensive post.

First, I started in August 2025 with no best buddies. It’s early October and I have been spinning pokestops for 4 days and have 7 Kecleons. That’s right, seven. I’ll start with the best buddies, and move on to discuss my Kecleon findings and already working plans for step 4/6

Wish Granted 2/6: Hope You Like Daily Chores

I started out by assessing what buddies I had, and where they were. I didn’t care about combat power or stats, it was all about where the hearts were. I picked the most advanced 10, and favorites them. These were my team.

Every day, I spent 45 minutes playing with each member, feeding them, taking a photo, and doing 3 battles with the trainers. That put me 60 total hearts closer to the goal each day. If I found time to go to a new pokestop, or walk a route, or whatever, the lowest of the bunch was selected. The last member of the team completes the quest - so I spent a lot of time with low members leapfrogging each other as my finish date got dragged closer. As the first three got their ribbons, I tried to spend time on the lowest one more.

When I got down to five buddies remaining, I found a great sale on a box with 10 poffins, and started hammering lowest 2 every day. I made a goal of 20 hearts per poffin, and found it took an hour to walk 2km, find a new pokestop, and walk a route. Each day got me more than 2 extra days of progress, which helped immensely. With the poffins (and a few extra), I shaved 7 days off this death march.

Interlude: Friend Farming

One of the complaints I found researching this quest chain is being a rural player and needed Kecleons. Rural players also need to realize they need a Lucky Trade in the future steps as well. I addressed this by finding my nearest large event meeting and doing a dozen raid with everyone, and friend requesting everyone in the raid after we completed them.

If you’re not familiar, if you are local on a raid, after it’s done you can friend invite everyone that was there. This helps me work towards more best friends, and also I can watch the list on raid days, and jump in remotely if I’m too busy to go but want a rare fight.

I built a big friend list, and I have been trading gifts with everyone interested since then. I know I need a best buddy who can make a lucky trade with me in a few weeks, and that will take time. So I’m pestering my regular friends to be sure to open gifts, and building a huge reserve of friends I could become lucky with.

The extra XP doesn’t hurt either.

Wish Granted 3/6 Kecleon: the Awful Little Stop Humper

First, thank you to the programmers who gave up making Kecleon only visible locally.

You will need a city of about 60,000 or more people to do this in a reasonable amount of time. You want to be in an area with a lot of pokestops (the best advice I found stopped there). You need to look for:

• Large Parks
• Colleges and Universities
• Art Districts
• Historic Sites

I happened to be in Houston this weekend, and Montrose next to the University was dense with stops. Here’s what we know:

• Kecleon is about 1:200 in spawning
• He can spawn under a team rocket but can’t be seen/caught while they’re there.
• He spawns/despawns on the hour

So if you’re committed to insanity, that means you have to pick a dense area, sit in your car at five after the hour, and meticulously click on every pokestop in view that isn’t team rocket. After you finish, drive a half mile, repeat. I found that picking a landmark and working counterclockwise was my best way to keep track. Then repeat.

Remember you have to make it there and catch him by the end of the hour. At the end of the hour, click local, or accept you may find one you can’t reach.

Some things I’ve noticed (which may or may not be facts):

I have never seen them in view of each other.

I have seen them 5 miles apart in the same hour.

Okay, good luck! I’ll say more when I know more.

(Berlin, Germany) The BMW Corporate team has announced that in 2026, all turn signal technology, previously locked behind a very expensive paywall, will be available as a free feature to all of their luxury vehicles. Drivers of these vehicles will be able to signal freely, negating the $1,000 per signal contract required for these vehicles in the past.

Drivers are optimistic the change will have a great effect on their driving. “Doug,” a 46 year old vehicle collision specialist lawyer, says the change will greatly affect his driving. “I used to have to consider, when I cut this person off, is it worth $1,000 to let them know I saw them, but I’m just being a dick? Now I can freely let them know, and not affect my 3 alimony payments. I’m excited about this change.”

But not all BMW driver are excited. Karen, a 32 year old mom boss, is concerned this may mean BMW drivers will be expected to signal like common folk. “I drive a BMW to signal that I made it… or that Brantley made it, but that’s the same thing, we’re a team. I am still waiting on a BMW manager from the dealership to confirm this is just optional, because I don’t want to do it.”

BMW engineers are embarrassed the change took so long. They note that other car companies have long kept their turn signal technology free, but look forward to BMW drivers being able to show their intension to change lanes more affordably.

The National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) could not be reached for comment, as the government is shut down.

(Washington DC) As the US Government shuts down and coverage of the Epstein Files drops to a trickle, the white house announced another bombshell, saying that the US Special Forces will be replaced by artificial intelligence by midyear 2026. The announcement was made in Friday’s press briefing by press secretary Karoline Leavitt.

“Too long have we relied on human beings to rid America of its most dangerous foes,” said Leavitt at the briefing. “The president and war secretary have determined that a combination of AI and drone technology will provide a more intelligent and more loyal strike force for our country’s needs.”

When asked whether special forces soldiers would be absorbed into the existing military structure, Leavitt responded, “the president said to remind them that ICE is hiring.”

The US Special Forces has a proud tradition of serving the United States since 1942, and have provided specialty operations for the military, varying from special reconnaissance to the killing of Osama bin Laden in 2011.

Not all Americans agree with the change. Leo Sturbgetter, a rural Kansas cow detangler and decorated Delta Force veteran, said “I agree with the president on so much, I can’t believe he’d do something to hurt people that voted for him.”

(Portland, OR) The White House is responding in confusion as Oregon Governor Tina Kotek has deployed the state’s National Guard to Portland in a move preempting the president’s order. Kotek says the guard was activated due to rumors that fascists, posing as US Military, were planning to invade the city, under orders of their fat rapist leader.

Kotek says she cannot identify the leader in question. “We know he is very old,” she said at a press conference Tuesday, “and very fat and confused a lot of the time. Some citizens are reporting he has been seen on tv at some golf events. If you have any information to help local authorities track this awful man down, please call the state police department.”

State guardsmen say they are pleased to be called up by the Governor, and will be on the look out for these fascists. “We only know they were supposed to be dressed as soldiers, and their leader is really, really fat, and confused a lot of the time,” said one guardsman who naturally asked not to be named. “We’re not permitted to say who we think this might be, but I understand he could be from Washington. I’m not sure which one, though, could be the state next door.”

The president had no comment if he knew the identity of the fat rapist fascist Governor Kotek described.

(Moscow, Russia) Recent events in the US have alarmed Russian officials, as trump appears to have overcome his fears of association with Jeffery Epstein. On Sunday, the president held a press conference with Maisy, a “very mature” 17-year-old press aide, who he said will be helping him very closely while Melania is out of town. The president joyfully took questions from reporters, and noted several time his new aide’s age.

“She’s quite a girl, and very nimble,” the president noted as his aide stood beside him. The president took questions for 20 minutes, then left, holding his aide’s hand, aboard Marine 1.

The response in Russian security circles was immediate. “We paid so much for these files,” said one agent, on promise of anonymity. “Israel robbed us, and this was before they knew we’d help him win the presidency. He’s been so careful until now, but now it’s like he doesn’t care. It makes no sense.”

“Ukraine is going to get those tomahawk, I can feel it.”

But some Americans support the president’s stance. Bill Belichick, head football coach at UNC, said: “it’s good to see don living his best life. Republicans don’t have to follow the same rules that the rest of you do. I don’t think this Epstein stuff has the pull it once did, which is fortunate, if you ask me.”

And this outlook seems to follow in republican circles that can’t afford sports cars as well. Leo Sturbgetter, a cow-detangler in rural Detroit, said: “this Epstein business has run its course. We’re at war with gangs in Venezuela now. Also Obama needs to shut his mouth and there’s a squirrel that can water ski. We don’t have time for that any more.”

Democrats lament that their half-hearted efforts to release the files no longer seem to affect the president. They note that after six month of effort, they managed to release the names of several of the president’s republican enemies, which they call a win.

The First Ladies office could not be reached for comment.

(Washington DC) Markets and lawmakers are reacting with confusion, as this morning president trump announced in a post on truth social that he was now the ruler of a small island. The post read:

“NOW AS WELL AS PRESIDENT I AM KING OF ISLA MUJERITA LENTO. UPDATE MAPS. REMAINING PRESIDENT AS NO ONE ELSE CAN DO IT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION ON THIS MATTER.”

In a press briefing, a visibly tired Karoline Leavitt informed the press that the island, which cannot be found on any map, is populated mainly by young women who can’t run quickly, and will now be overseen by the president directly. “He will assume all government duties effective immediately, and a beauty pageant overseen by his excellency will be scheduled in one week’s time, overseen directly by the king.” She provided no further details despite repeated questions, instead attempting to draw attention to the Epstein Files in a sudden change of White House policy.

Constitutional scholars question whether a sitting president can rule another country, but note it is not explicitly barred in the constitution. “There might be some issue with the emoluments clause,” said one, who asked not to be named for fear of reprisals by the administration, “but that has been put to bed already with the millions trump and his family have made in less than a year. I suppose congress could impeach him, but I find it more likely a bolt of lightning from a vengeful god would strike trump at this point.”

Also at question is the fact no one can identify the island in question. Politicians close to the president note that if such an island existed, full of young nubile women that cannot escape from predatory men, it would be common knowledge in republican circles at this point. They question whether it came to him in a dream, or whether someone close to the president made up the island, and then informed him he could not go.

The Vice President’s office says they encourage the president’s efforts, and say vance will be happy to assume any duties that conflict with being a king. Vance has been making a strong public presence of late, and some speculate the island, and its capital of Boobyfirm, are an effort to transform more power and responsibility to his desk.

A spokeperson from Boobyfirm could not be reached for comment.

(Atlanta, GA) As Christians come to terms with still being on earth after “the rapture,” a day where the most holy would ascend to heaven, there is growing concern in the community as another segment of society is suddenly missing the day after.

Music studios in Atlanta, Detroit, and Los Angeles are silent, as hundreds if not thousands of black musicians have suddenly gone quiet; twitter accounts of major stars such as Doja Cat, Drake, and Niki Minaj are silent, and even Little Wayne cannot be reached for comment. Christians are up in arms, claiming that these artists have stolen their redemption.

“We are god’s chosen people,” shouted Karen Evens, punctuating the comment with her cigarette butt. “We are supposed to be in heaven. Not those people.”

But if a rapture occurred, an unexpected group was chosen as god’s faithful, and some evidence suggests that Karen is correct about the fate of these artists. One sound mixer at TJ Records, whose Manager Dig Drucky can no longer be reached, says an overnight recording session was interrupted by a flash of light, and a suddenly empty studio. “We was jammin and suddenly everyone was gone… drinks all spilled, spliffs on the ground… I had to stop the joints from starting a fire with all those clothes there. Lot of rings and chains, too… you buyin?”

Religious scholars say while a rapture is mentioned in scripture, the possibility of this being a prank should be ruled out first. They note this is not the first predicted rapture event in history.

As the silence goes on, however, some megachurch pastors have begun to worry, as each day raises more questions as to why they were not chosen.

Kid Rock was very much available for comment.

(Atlanta, GA) As shelves fill with Christmas goods not even four months before Christmas, Christians are beginning their customary season opening by publicly denouncing the obvious attacks on the holiday, no longer even 100 days away.

“Yesterday I went to Starbucks,” said Freida Wallbang, “and there were only regular coffee cups. I asked whether they would have Holiday or Christmas cups this year, and the manager told me they won’t know for 2 months still. Like they don’t even care.”

“Also they said Pumpkin spice won’t be in until Fall actually starts, so that’s wrong, too.”

These concerns are being repeated across Facebook, and presumably other Christian conservative hotspots like church talk groups or rural reddit channels. One poster complained that the Devil’s Day (Halloween) was interfering with space for Christmas decorations, and was angered that there were even still Halloween goods at stores so close to the holiday. “How long do we have to keep talking about Halloween,” he asked, “that’s over, it’s time for angels and snowflakes here in Florida.”

Psychologists say this response is normal, and is more related to instinctive response than actual anger. “You have to think like they would… and I use ‘think’ loosely,” said one social behavior specialist who asked to remain anonymous. “They see the decorations on the shelves, and their first thought is that Christmas must be under attack again, because they are always told it’s under attack. I saw stuff out in August this year though… that’s a long time to be angry. It would make a great study if there was any grant money.”

Republicans seem to sense the danger, and Tuesday announced on fox news that people in Gaza were attacking Christmas. In a clever response, some Democratic circles have suggested that Christmas is attacked repeatedly in the Epstein Files.

(Washington DC) As Tyler Robinson appears in court for charges of killing Charlie Kirk, while Luigi Mangione, alleged shooter of healthcare CEO Brian Thompson appears for hearings, First Lady Melania Trump has taken rare initiative in calling for Americans to pay attention to the similarities between these men. In a rare press conference, the first lady called for vigilance.

“No one can deny these crimes are wrong, and forbidden,” she said on Monday. “We have to pay careful attention as a nation to young, well-formed, white men in this age range. We need to know where they are going, whether they are buying weapons, if they have a girlfriend. This is our duty to keep America safe.”

The comments have drawn praise from those who feel America has a problem not divided by left and right, but by strong emotions and political feelings of helplessness. “I know I feel helpless when a much stronger young man is in the elevator with me,” said one female pundit. “You try to appear confident, but you never know what their intentions are. I’m often sweating after thirty seconds.”

These comments mirror the First Lady’s, who has made it her task to monitor the young male staffers of the White House when the president is away or golfing. She replied to questions that this monitoring will be ongoing, and will support the Secret Service. “They don’t have time to watch every pool boy or dishwasher, so I’m going to help with that… much like I’m calling on every American to do as well.”

The president praised the First Lady’s efforts from his golf course in Mara Lago. “She does great, great work,” he said. “Very pleased.”

(Ogden, UT) As the White House attempts to find every angle on Charlie Kirk’s death to drown out the Epstein Files, word is circulating of a miracle relating to the recently dead Kirk’s clothing. A blind hospital employee cleaning the operating room, where surgeons tried to save Kirk’s life, has reported that after handling the remains of his shirt, he has developed a sudden distrust of black people. “Of course, I don’t want to say black people. But I am trying to be polite,” the man said on condition of anonymity.

Republicans are thrilled with the news. “This man used to be a rational member of society, and now he is out buying a gun for his protection,” said KC Crosby, co-chair of the republican party. “And I am assured, if he hadn’t been wearing gloves, he’d hate brown people, too. Maybe even able to see!”

Calls to the Vatican have received muted responses, as republicans demand to beatify Kirk as a Saint immediately. “The church has racist Saints, yes,” said one Cardinal speaking off the record. “But we don’t make you a Saint just for being racist… not any more, as least. They probably want to find an openly racist church, which is not difficult in America.”

Enter the KKK, who claim their strong religious background qualifies them to beatify Kirk. Klan members have already begun placing images of Kirk on crosses, and - disturbingly - burning them. Still, they feel this is what Kirk would want for his legacy.

“Charlie is a religious figure now, and we can only hope he is burning there in the afterlife like we honor him here.”

(Phoenix, AZ) As the nation works to discuss the assassination of Charlie Kirk without bringing up gun violence, the White House has announced that Donald Trump will lead the organization going forward. “It’s a sad time, very sad,” said the president at his New Jersey golf course. “We know Charlie’s family is sad and America is sad. I know they want me to take over until his son is old enough to take over.”

Turning Point, a corporation with its own board of directors and chain of succession, says they are reaching out to the president to clarify his symbolic leadership of the firm. But trumps office clearly responded as if the president ran the organization. “The president is planning to move the headquarters to JD Vance’s old office once he moves,” said Karoline Leavitt to reporters, “and has a new logo commemorating Charlie being commissioned at a gold leaf factory. The president is excited to do the work.”

When asked how this would affect the president’s current work administering the country, Leavitt had no comment.

(Undisclosed Location) As conservative rhetoric grows louder following the Wednesday shooting and death of Turning Point’s Charlie Kirk, a voice calling for acceptance and understanding of his death in a historical perspective granted a rare interview on the matter. John Titor, a -428 year-old time travel from “basically the US,” sat down to answer questions and grant his unique perspective on the matter.

“First, let me thank you for coming the day before your minor car wreck,” he began. “I want to start by saying that I know you are going to ask about Hitler, and I cannot stress enough that, given a strong enough understanding of time, Emperor Kirk was a much more important issue to be dealt with.”

Titor stressed that Hitler is surprisingly the best outcome for World War 2, but Kirk was a terrible influence on the third world war. “Yeah, you don’t want to see Turning Point Events in the future, they use the name for… well, that’s not a problem now.”

When asked about the gunman, he said he preferred not to influence the current investigation. He would confirm that “a shooter” would be arrested and tried, but could not give more details beyond that. “I don’t think even we have the full story on that one,” he said. “But we do know more as time goes on.” When asked if he was optimistic about the future with current events, he said he was hopeful, but not to assume all troubling events will end with Kirk.