this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2025
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[–] jadedwench@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

One thing I started doing the last decade was to really focus more on bodily autonomy in casual situations, despite my southern upbringing. I never really forced myself on anyone and I hyper focus on other people's emotions as it is, so, I know when to back off or be docile. However, I didn't really think about it consciously. I needed to be better.

Two stories.

I remember some older lady just touching my hair to show it to someone else in the office and how utterly uncomfortable it made me. I had already thought a lot about how awful POC have it and I could never imagine touching a strangers hair without asking. For a moment, I got a taste of that discomfort and it really pushed me to be less complacent.

The worst thing I did was just yank a gray hair out of my best friend's head. She did not like it. To this day I am utterly horrified I did it and still apologize. I don't even care about gray hair! I can't believe I let a stupid beauty trope I grew up with just come out of nowhere. I have no idea what possessed me.

No more generations that force kids to be hugged when they do not want to. I do not hug or touch people without asking first, even if I know them fairly well. I have a few friends that usually force themselves to accept hugs, even when they don't want to be touched. I make sure kids know that they do not have to put up with it and they can say no as much as anybody else. It is such a simple concept to follow.

[–] other_cat@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's really great of you!

[–] jadedwench@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

Thanks. I am huge proponent that we can actually change things about ourselves. Without going on a very long ted talk, my thoughts mostly revolve around admitting to yourself and taking ownership that you did or thought something wrong. Don't excuse it. The rest is repetition and letting your inner changes evolve into calling shitty behavior out.