The ideal place to ask for help with your relationships: romantic, friendships, we don't know what we are yet, co-workers or just human interactions in general.
Please make sure you read our rules before posting.
Rules can be clicked on to be expanded.
The goal of this community is helping OP and readers, not making fun of them. We are an inclusive community, any sort of disrespect towards ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, etc, will not be tolerated.
Posts containing mentions or descriptions of sexual topics must be tagged as NSFW. This includes descriptions of sexual acts, requests for advice in the bedroom, explicit descriptions of your body and similar content.
All posts must be phrased as a request for advice or as a question. Sharing of stories, personal anecdotes, or past mistakes are only allowed if they're followed by a clear and relevant request for advice with the situation.
Your title and body need to contain enough information relevant to your situation, such as ages, genders, and the relationship between people mentioned. For privacy-related concerns, we recommend using fake names and broad general locations.
Comments must be directly related to helping OP, asking for more information, providing relevant resources or otherwise relevant to the thread. Off-topic comments and remarks, suspicious attempts at gathering personal data from OP or other readers, or bullying will not be tolerated.
Moral judgements, "AITA?" and other similar questions are better served by different communities.
As a temporary measure and the result of a poll, Reddit reposts are allowed following an expanded set of rules: https://lemmy.world/post/317115
For the most part, this community operates under the assumption that users are acting in good faith and should be given second-chances for their mistakes. Posts and comments with very light rule violations, or otherwise undesired but mostly harmless content, can be removed by a moderator on a case by case basis without any further punitive actions.
For violations of our rules, we follow a “3 strike” system as follows:
1st violation: 72 hours ban + moderator warning via PMs.
2nd violation: 1 week ~ 1 month ban + final warning via PMs.
3rd violation: 1 month ~ permanent ban.
The goal of this system is making sure users are made aware of their behavior before being permanently banned, but also protecting the community from any rule violations.
Exceptions:
While the “3 strike” system will be applied to the majority of situations, rules marked with a [!] in the sidebar signifies a rule that, if violated in an intentional, malicious or significant way, can warrant an immediate permanent ban regardless of the number of previous violations. This includes severe disrespect to users or groups, dangerous content, and similar.
Adulting: !adulting@lemmy.world
No Stupid Questions: !nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
Mental Health !mentalhealth@lemmy.world
Why is it important for you to masturbate to media of personal contacts?
Why does your partner feel this way over you masturbating to personal contacts? What exactly does she feel?
0.02$: When you ask yourself and your partner those questions, you might find out what the actual emotional basis of this conflict is.
Masturbating to pictures of people you know is a big No-No. It happens without their consent (they probably don't want this) and it's not very healthy for yourself. If I'd do it, I'd struggle looking them in the eyes after that. I'd just stop and find some other fantasy.
Edit: And concerning your question with the celebrities... At least they get something out of it. It might happen without consent as well, but they get a lot of money for that, which your friends don't.
Yes, you're the asshole.
Stop jerkin off to people you know by creeping on their social media, it's mentally unhealthy, it shows your lack of empathy in your relationship, it shows a lack of self control, it shows a lack of respect for the people you creep on, and it's unethical to do it without those people's permission.
Counterpoint: there's actually enough people that are completely fine with this, can just see the other comments. Your viewpoint is actually completely valid, but that's just it, it's your viewpoint. You consider it behavior of an asshole, but others don't. Sometimes it's just necessary to find the people that agree with you instead of changing your true self to please other people, that don't agree with you.
I'm coming from a situation where I currently have sexual relationships with 3 women, and everyone knows everything and feels good about the situation. There's actually remarkable flexibility what people think is "asshole behavior".
Counter question: is it unethical to jerk off to celebrities because it's unethical to do it without those people's permission?
Yes
Jerk off to who YOU want.
That’s yours.
No one else’s.
End of story.
It’s like telling someone what foods they are allowed to crave. NOYFB!
Everyone has desire for other people, even in monogamous relationships. If masturbating on pictures is your way to stay with her and not cheat on her, that's perfectly fine. But it might just mean, since she can't deal with it, that you're not meant to be together.
You might look into poly or open relationships, or simply into people who understand that monogamy doesn't mean no attraction to other people.
A) Yeah bad idea to tell her it’s people you know. You can see why someone might freak out and feel uncomfortable/paranoid about that. It’s not someone random you’d never meet, like a celeb or pornstar -it’s people you know in real life.
B) Her age checks out. Young people tend to be more insecure. However I still think point A stands
Some people can only understand when it happens to them. So maybe if you flipped it. She tells you she’s getting off on pictures of a guy she knows. Maybe she used to work with him or still does. How would you feel?
Tell her you'll only ever jerk to pics and thoughts of her.
And never share your imaginary friends again.
...are these pictures meant to be arousing? If not then...
Ew. Why the fuck do you jerk off to pictures of normal people? That's creepy as fuck. I'm saying this as a furf*g and monster fucker who's probably gotten off to shit that'd give you nightmares. What the fuck is wrong with you? Don't do that. That's gross, disgusting behavior and I feel violated now that you've put the possibility of someone having jerked off to me without my consent in my head. God, that's gross.
If those pictures weren't mean to be wank material then she should leave you OP; not because of you """cheating""" because you look at porn, but because you're being a fucking creep and jerking off to people without their consent. You need help.
However, if the images were meant to be arousing, then yeah, I'll be honest, she's kinda overreacting. Only kinda though. It's still weird that you're jerking off to people that you know and I can understand some level of jealousy simply because they're people you know; but I wouldn't consider that cheating either. Then again, I tend to be more open with people.
Your good dude. If you were watching porn She'd be mad about your jerking off to girls she doesn't look like. You can always leave that girl and try your luck with the girls you're jerkin it to if you wanted to. It doesn't make you an asshole it just makes you horny. Maybe if she was greasing your pole more often, you wouldn't need the external stimuli.