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[-] SHOW_ME_YOUR_ASSHOLE@lemm.ee 95 points 1 year ago

Humans used to be so fucked up.

We still are, but we used to be too.

[-] TwanHE@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

What's fucked up about chaining up a corpse. Of course it doesn't help anything but there is also no harm in it.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 0 points 1 year ago

Someone once asked me if I’d like some glacier-covered land in Alaska. I said “no, but I would like some non-glacier-covered land in Alaska later, so yeah”

[-] Narrrz@kbin.social 67 points 1 year ago

so what I'm hearing is that it worked.

[-] laverabe@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

Good day Sir. I have excellent merchandise to sell for you. My anti-tiger rock is guaranteed to keep all your tigers away! Please send money to this address! THANK YOU

[-] Narrrz@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago

thank you, but my current anti-tiger rock fulfills my present needs, and has the bonus of keeping other large members of the order felidae at a comfortable distance, too.

[-] sigh@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago
[-] echodot@feddit.uk 2 points 1 year ago

Then you require my tiger summoning slab of raw meat. If you combine that with the magic rock you will create a perpetual motion machine

[-] Igloojoe@lemm.ee 6 points 1 year ago

But now it is released... 2024 - vampires...

[-] XTornado@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 year ago

Idk we have barely started the aliens arc.

[-] kamenlady@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It's all gonna come all at once, vampires, aliens, fungi, zombies, trump...

[-] TacoThrash3r@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In a world with two brothers....

[-] XTornado@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago
[-] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 45 points 1 year ago

The remains date from an era that viewed ghosts, zombies and other supernatural entities as being as real as humans.

I am so glad that 95% of the human race no longer believes in the supernatural and never supports organized religion.

Tiring day, can't wait to get home and watch shows that are educational that totally don't speculate about ancient aliens or hunt ghosts.

[-] BarbecueCowboy@kbin.social 14 points 1 year ago

All I'm saying is... Science can't prove vampires don't exist.

[-] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Or that you should give me 20 bucks ;)

[-] Maeve@kbin.social 6 points 1 year ago

Time and energy vampires are real.

[-] JoeKrogan@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

A combination of both is called work😞

[-] Maeve@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago

Even if it’s just a draining family member.

[-] Burn_The_Right@lemmy.world 36 points 1 year ago

And they just unlocked it and let it out?! Goddamnit!

[-] sock@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

its probably a hiding vampire bat waiting to release covid-20

[-] LostXOR@kbin.social 5 points 1 year ago

Wouldn't it be COVID-23 now? Or does the bat go back in time and release another deadly virus during 2020? Oh god...

[-] anubis119@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Noooo...you must not read from the book!

[-] Brawndo@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

Klatu, Verata.... Ni-humlenhdkidpwkehehkamajhen

[-] GiddyGap@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago

Humans believing in fantasy beings to the point of murder...how dumb...

...wait a minute...

[-] THJr@ttrpg.network 6 points 1 year ago

From what I can tell in the article the kid wasn't murdered? Or did I miss something

[-] EssentialCoffee@midwest.social 3 points 1 year ago

Yeah, it just sounds like the kid died and this was a burial rite precaution.

I think the person above you just read the headline and made an assumption.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Maybe he thought the kid was to be a snack for the vampire

[-] YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Santa Slayer!

[-] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 9 points 1 year ago

“Look it might be a waste of a lock, but I don’t want some vampire kid killing me. Don’t let your last words be, ‘I should have listened to Jeeeeeeff!’”

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

“It’s pronounced Jeff”

[-] autotldr 6 points 1 year ago

This is the best summary I could come up with:


A 17th-century child's remains were found padlocked to a grave in Poland - an act that is thought to be been to stop him rising from the dead.

Archaeologists uncovered the body of a six- to seven-year-old buried facedown with a triangular iron padlock under its foot.

It is believed the body, found in the northern village of Pien, was buried facedown and padlocked to the grave because of ancient supernatural beliefs in vampires.

The find was reported to have come from the same site as a year ago it was announced the remains of a woman had been discovered with a sickle around her neck and a triangular padlock on her foot.

The child was likely buried facedown to keep it from sitting up and exiting the grave to feed on living people, he added.

The child's bones date from an era that viewed ghosts, zombies and other supernatural entities as being as real as humans.


The original article contains 348 words, the summary contains 157 words. Saved 55%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

I’m just imagining a vampire waking, then sticking its butt up in the air in an attempt to sit up. Then cartooning question marks coming out in its confusion

[-] brygphilomena@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Cool. I'm down for that when I die

[-] GrammatonCleric@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

A new market has appeared! Monetize! Monetize! Monetize!

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 4 points 1 year ago

He didn't rise from the dead, did he? We have no way of knowing how many times he tried.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 0 points 1 year ago

It could be fun to have a corpse accidentally buried with an iphone then someone recovers the iphone and it’s listing steps from the corpse trying to rise

[-] CeruleanRuin 1 points 1 year ago

I want to be buried in a staged scene with a broken coffin lid and posed as if I'm clambering up through the dirt.

[-] CeruleanRuin 1 points 1 year ago

The headline is somewhat ambiguous, and seems to imply that the child was chained there to prevent a vampire buried below from rising. Knowing the child was the supposed vampire makes this a little less grim, because I was picturing some poor kid with his leg shackled to a headstone and left to die.

this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2023
276 points (96.6% liked)

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