He's a homosectional
this post was submitted on 22 Apr 2025
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What's the couch story?
Just a joke because it's fun to call him a couch fucker. He never fucked any couches as far as we know.
....as far as we know.
He hasn't provided any evidence to the contrary, so technically he still fucks couches.
"Guilty even if proven innocent" IS standard US government policy now, after all!
Innocent until proven guilty
it's not a crime to fuck a couch. there's no guilt to be found.
it's a fact.
he's never provided evidence that he stopped fucking couches.
I'm worried I'll get blacksited if I upvote this
i should start selling nordvpn or something i'd make so much money
This is fucking genius.
Love it
So is that “fuck” or “marry” for this one? Unless you mean “love to death,” in which case is this a “kill” for you?
I feel I'm missing something then. Anyone care to explain? (I know about the couch thing, that its his wife in the middle, and that the pope died after he visited him).
You're my favorite writer. Happy to see you're still alive!
There is a game called “fuck, marry, kill” where you’re given a list of three people and you have to choose to fuck one, marry another, and kill the third. For example: Trump, Vance, and Putin… which would you choose to fuck, marry, or kill?
Ah I see. Thanks.
Answer the question!
I'll fuck, kill and then marry Vance.
This joke is in the context of the game fuck marry kill (I’ve also heard it as kiss kill marry)
Basically it’s a fun social game (highly dependent on your group) of who’d you have a one stand with, who’d be your better half, and who’d you’d erase from existence
TLDR, it’s from a social game
I would nominate this for this year's meme awards.
That would be a fun thing to have. Monthly or whatever meme awards
Nobody thought about that earlier? We should do an instance about it or something. I'd do it, but after 2 years I still don't know how the fediverse works.
It's easy to set up. We could team up. I'll do the comm if you want to help put together the posts.
As if you guys would have made different choices
I'd marry the Pope, because the Pope marrying a guy would have hilarious fallout, kill the couch because recliners are superior, and... ahh, damn... guess I gotta take one for the team...
I respect these choices. Peak chaos shitposting energy
I'm surprised I don't hear more about his wife.
Why don't we piss off his base more by mentioning his brown wife?
DEI wife.
Because his true love is the couch. He actually killed the pope, because he wouldn't let him marry the couch.
vance was granted a one-time touch of death by thiel to use on the pope.
She's a beard. He's really Peter Theil's fuckboy, and everybody knows it, but they pretend they don't, so nobody wants to ask too many questions.
Usha Vance to Kamala Harris: "See this babe, you can't get into the White House on your own. You gotta ride some hillbilly dick for that."
a hillbilly who has better makeup.
If the couch was brown the answers would be way different.
What a pretty beard in the middle!
Thank you for this!
What's up with the white sofa?
He fucks a couch.
There are like so many real issues to raise outside of stupid sofa meme.
Raise real demands -
uhc - universal healthcare,
Laws Preventing capital fleeing abroad,
mandatory vacations,
Establishing us gdpr,
Banning crypto (only used for political bribes).
Building good social housing,
improving social security,
taxing corporations,
Nationalizing Ocean shores,
Nationalizing oil production,
Building nuclear power plants,
I don't care about the couch
If you really didn't care you wouldn't be writing a book in his defense.
Whose defence? R u high?
Not the IKEA.
The white brown girl? Is that racist?
Is that guy on the right from Addams Family?