this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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[–] lattrommi@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

and your Pants Pee-free

they are seriously underestimating my capabilities, as well as the efficacy of my laundromat and determination of the drunken hobos who live there.

They measure the angular degree of the appliance but I'll wager a testicle they still have not tackled the more critical issue of the degree in temperature of cold porcelain. As I'm sure most men living anywhere with a latitude bigger than 45° can relate, there is nothing worse than having to chip onesself free on a cold night in the dead of winter.

[–] realitista@lemm.ee 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Wait a sec, are you telling me your pee stream froze and you got stuck to the urinal!?!?

[–] sit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

Dude writes so bscure he could sell me a cult

[–] TehPers@beehaw.org 13 points 1 week ago (4 children)

I appreciate improvements, but I don't think this will solve the problem of pee shooting out in random directions (occasionally vertically down) before setting on a gentle spray in all directions at once. It's not even like we're free-handed firehosing the stream or anything - even carefully aimed, it can decide to just fuck off to the right for no damn reason.

Anyway, all this to say the floors will still be sticky, but hopefully less so.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Do you not pull back the hood before unleashing the flow?

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 1 week ago

mfers just open their zipper and start pissing, being dumbfounded at how this results in them pissing their pants

[–] TehPers@beehaw.org 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

If you're asking if I sound before pissing, no. If you're asking if I go out of my way to piss on myself, also no.

Don't claim your piss shoots out like a laser pointer. Nobody will believe you lol.

Edit: I think I misunderstood you. I'm in the US, and we tend to have this strange phenomenon when we're born where the doctor likes to practice their surgical skills on our junk right out of the womb. So I think your question might be irrelevant to me basically.

[–] ClassifiedPancake@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Didn’t imagine I’ll write this down ever in my life but the solution is to open the hole for a sec so it can „reset“ and close up properly. Then it should be no problem. It can clog up from sweat or semen which creates this spray effect. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 1 points 1 week ago

Aha, yes the removal of said hood kind of moots my question.

To illustrate this for the unaccustomed, of your junk is vanilla starting to pee whilst the urethra is covered can lead to a very chaotic trajectory, hence my question.

No one tells you either, so as a kid I had problems aiming until I found this out.

It's not laser pointer without the hood, however it's comfortably within the margin of error to not miss the bowl.

[–] smeg@feddit.uk 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Nautilus was torture-tested with poor aim scenarios, erratic flow rates, and simulated misfires

reducing splashback by a staggering 98%

Seems like they did this properly, and while it's not perfect it handles sprinkler mode pretty well

[–] Admetus@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago

Sprinkler mode, I love it.

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Hmmm that's almost exclusively an after-ejaculation thing for most dudes

[–] ramble81@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Spread your hole a little bit before letting it rip. It’s because it’s blocked either because you’ve been sweaty, you nasty or you jacked off and it dried on the tip.

[–] TehPers@beehaw.org 1 points 1 week ago

It also tends to spray under low pressure, which is unfortunately both at the start and end. Mid-piss, it's generally fine from my experience.

[–] ShellMonkey@lemmy.socdojo.com 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Just ask NASA for help, pretty sure they had a solution figured out a while ago or there would be chaos in the cosmos.

[–] Earflap@reddthat.com 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They just switched the vacuum from blow to suck.

[–] Deceptichum@quokk.au 3 points 1 week ago

We ain’t found shit.

[–] steal_your_face@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 week ago

Spoiler its this one

[–] match@pawb.social 6 points 1 week ago

one of these but shaped like a human head mid blowjob

[–] realitista@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago

I was really hoping the "live stream" would be just pee streaming into the urinal.

[–] terminhell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This isn't new? I've seen splash less and no water, or both for years now.

[–] Allero@lemmy.today 1 points 1 week ago

Yep, seen those for a while now

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago
[–] lnxtx@feddit.nl 2 points 1 week ago

Do they suck last droplets before peen meets the pants?