this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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Its the 14th century and you've had no time to prepare, after you're done reading this post you are snapped. What do you do?

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[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 42 points 4 days ago

Well, I would give you the answer, but since I snapped back as soon as I read the post, I'm now responding what has been 650 years later for me, and I'm too fucking old for this shit a second time. I bypassed getting snapped back this time by just not reading the post and coming straight in to comment.

Now, what will happen if I read the

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 3 days ago (1 children)

What place do I get teleported to? If I'm teleported to the same place on Earth, then I just fell down several meters into a swamp and am probably going to die here.

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

You teleported to somewhere safe and private, you won't fall to your death and nobody will see you lol.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 21 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I know thousands of songs. Also, musical instruments like the saxaphone haven't been invented yet.

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[–] P00ptart@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I would teach London children the most obnoxious brain rot slang from today as a laugh.

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[–] Duke_Nukem_1990@feddit.org 2 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Uhh anyone know where to get estrogen injections in the 14th century?

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[–] Gustephan@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I could probably discover electricity, depending on where I landed. Jewelers of the time could make wire, copper was common, and magnets (lodestones) had been discovered. Realistically though I'd be a dumb giant (ie, speak no known languages of the time and statistically I'd have like a foot on the "tall" people of the era). I'd probably try to find some party trick that looked like magic to people of the era then hope that people would welcome and try to integrate me rather than burning me as a witch. Then I'd probably die in a week or two anyway to some disease lol

[–] Kookie215@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

The party trick thing reminded me of a book series called Magic 2.0 that I read a while back . This guy figures out that the universe is a simulation and basically hacks the code; now he can jump through time as he pleases. He goes back to the Middle Ages and brings plastic wrap with him and calls it clear paper, which convinces everyone that he's a wizard. It was a fun read but got dumb around the 3rd-ish book.

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[–] ultranaut@lemmy.world 43 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Assuming I am physically in the same place, I will fall to my death. If I somehow survive the fall I would be severely injured and alone in the wilderness. Within a few days I would probably die of either my injuries, dehydration, or hypothermia.

[–] SendMePhotos@lemmy.world 28 points 4 days ago (3 children)

Scientifically speaking, the earth is constantly moving in an upward spiral. Your exact physical location would put you in some random outerspace area without oxygen or any protection. Just floating in space until you die.

[–] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 22 points 4 days ago

Scientifically speaking, there is no absolute reference frame. So you can be wherever you like depending on what reference you choose.

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[–] yessikg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 3 days ago (6 children)

I would warn the Native Americans about the Europeans

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Europeans would show up and my Native American homies would be armed with cartridge rifles, six shooters and a crank rotary machine gun.

I would try for better, but I think there just wouldn't be the time for fine tooling more advanced fire arms would require. Even getting all that going before I croak is going to take a lot of ambition.

Also assuming they don't think I am some evil spirit that they quickly kill when I demand industrial metal facilities be constructed.

Oh, they would probably also have penicillin before the white man, so that would be a major advantage.

[–] xylogx@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

If you could somehow inoculate them against smallpox you might have a fighting chance.

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[–] humanspiral@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

I don't know how to refine oil, but knowing that its refinable into diesel/gasoline is a pretty good start to looking for it. Steam power easier to figure out. A head start on murdering some sperm whales for lighting industry seems easy enough to figure out. Partnering with metal smiths who might have a clue on making gun barrels, and pipe's in general that could be used for advanced weaponry, would be an easy path to get governments to give me a ton of money for weapons research by just showing them some drawings. Doesn't really matter if I ever figure out how to do it, just the vision of what is possible would make me richer than Musk. Richer if I can help enslave all of humanity to one empire.

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[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 12 points 3 days ago

Wouldn't I be in like empty space?

[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 12 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Die as you forgot to teleport me to where the earth was at the time.

Otherwise I guess my main knowledge that could be useful is some basic first aid. Secondary to that, a little bit of electrical stuff.

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[–] VinesNFluff@pawb.social 19 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

612 years in the past
In Brazil. So almost a century before the first europeans landed here. I'm assuming I just plop exactly in my relative earth-location, but in the distant past. (... It would be really funny if this was overly literal, because I'm currently in the 12th floor, so I'd thanos snap into the past and immediately fall to my death)

Well

As a person from modern times -- From AFTER the Americas came into contact with Europe, if I went near a person here in the Land of Palms (that's what the natives called Brazil!) from those times we'd both get horribly infected and die a lot due to how antibodies work. Viruses did a lot of the legwork in genociding the natives. Euros would deliberately do things to infect natives so they'd die of illness.

The place I currently live in is slowly turning into a desert, but was a deep jungle back then (... It was still a deep jungle in the 1910s tbqh).

.......... I think I'd just die? Become food for a jaguar or eat a poisonous fungus or sth.

Would love to indulge in the fantasy of giving the Guarani people guns and a warning to shoot white people on sight just to see how history would change, but that ain't happening.

[–] Tudsamfa@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago (6 children)

This is something I often wonder about, what could one person even do with all of today's common knowledge? You can't very well just invent the printing press and have the same impact as Gutenberg - you need something what the few people who can read would, and most people can't translate the bible from Latin into renaissance German and/or don't know enough about the catholic church to write scathing remarks on it like Luther.

You can write and read - that's something. Maybe more importantly, you can do math with arabic numerals - boom, easy accounting job. With a bit higher education, you may even just invent calculus once more. You know how long it took for people to figure out you can put pi on the number line? Proving all the formulas in your head is the hard stuff, but you have a head start just by knowing them. We all clown on the wormhole explanation with the paper, but it does prove Euclid wrong 400 years early.

Ah, and you can just become a medical genius by using soap and bandages - "do no harm" is better than most.

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[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 days ago

I'd probably be dead in no time for a long list of reasons

First of all, nobisy would be able to understand me, as even current English would be barely recognizable by them

Then there is the issue that I'm probably at least a foot taller than most people and let's just say that "being even remotely different" back then was a good reason to be killed

Then there is the food issue. Food was scarce (hence most people being quite a bit shorter than me) so it'd be hard to keep myself fed. Clean water? Hah, good luck with that.

Then there is the issue of diseases. I probably carry shit that their bodies won't be able to handle, si being around me will likely make people sick, which in turn will get me labeled as a witch which would get me tortured and burned. Similarly but conversely, loads of diseases that were rampant back then are now gone, and likely my body is less equipped to handle that, I'd die from some disease

Ignoring all of that...

I'd probably start spreading the knowledge of democracy, and the harms of religion, and how important it is to immediately kill kings or king wannabes. I'd make a library with a vast wealth of knowledge and give access to the first country that successfully transforms itself to a representative atheist democracy with laws in place to ensure that no king, fascist, or wannabe will ever be able to rise up again.

That country would become the dominant world power within decades, spreading democracy and science over the world.

[–] pan0wski@infosec.pub 14 points 3 days ago

I'd die pretty quickly.

[–] BrazenSigilos@ttrpg.network 24 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Market myself as a powerful man of religion and/or magician, depending on the local vibe. Then use knowledge of science and tech to build myself a reclusive retreat where I can have regular baths and write books with predictions to mess with the world 650 years after I would die.

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