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[-] Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz 33 points 1 year ago

The whole world is turning into incels. Its not that there is no one to fuck but that everyone has crippling social anxiety.

[-] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago

Marxists would say that this is a symptom of alienation, that industrial society under capitalism has isolated individuals from their communities, broken up the extended family, and divorced the worker from the fruits of their labor.

[-] protist@mander.xyz 20 points 1 year ago

I think it has more to do with concrete changes to how people socialize over the past 15 years, namely smartphones and the internet. People seek community through the internet but are functionally isolating themselves, and as irl relationships fade or never happen, they stay online more, which becomes a positive feedback loop. They develop social anxieties only because they have no experience with or are not used to socializing irl

[-] bouh@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

My take : society needs to adapt to the status of women. We went from a society where women could only get a life through marriage to a society where they have to work and don't need to be married. This changes how men and women interact together, and we need to invent new ways around romance and dating.

[-] Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 year ago

The internet was able to trick people into thinking they were socializing when they were actually alone in their room all day.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

But it doesn’t have to be that way. I was a shut in once and started going out. I’m still not good at it, but I’m getting better. I can’t go back to being a shut in. I need my in person socialization on a regular basis.

[-] Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 year ago

You saw that you were in plato's cave. But the majority of people either just haven't figured out that online socializing is an illusion or they aren't self aware enough to ever figure it out.

[-] Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 year ago

And good on you. I am glad you were able to break out of your depressive spiral.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago

Arch users say this means you should install Arch btw

[-] gandalf_der_12te@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

Yeah, I believe that capitalism, in fact, encourages the isolation of the individial. After all, isolated individuals don't make solidarity (i.e. unions).

[-] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee -1 points 1 year ago

And they'd be missing the mark.

Community isolation came well after the dawn of capitalism via car-centric infrastructure, which isn't necessarily a capitalism issue as much as a problem with invention exceeding what's actually needed of it.

The extended family was destroyed by the church long before there even was a capitalism, the European clan structure family was determined to be "ungodly" because it tended to lead to inbreeding and tyranny of cousins scenarios.

[-] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 year ago

I think you're litigating something else entirely.

Community isolation came well after the dawn of capitalism via car-centric infrastructure, which isn’t necessarily a capitalism issue as much as a problem with invention exceeding what’s actually needed of it.

The extended family was destroyed by the church long before there even was a capitalism, the European clan structure family was determined to be “ungodly” because it tended to lead to inbreeding and tyranny of cousins scenarios.

Which is it? Before or after Capitalism? Also, car-centric infrastructure is 1000% a byproduct of Capitalism. It certainly wasn't the communities and the Marxists telling everyone to buy a car and drive an hour each way to work and back.

[-] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

I was pointing out that you were looking at two separate occurrences that were not as related to one another as Marx and other communists hypothesized. The car and its byproducts are the main culprit of community atomization, with capitalism being to blame the same way that art school is to blame for WWII, the church is to "blame" for the end of the European clan based family separate from the atomization of communities writ large, and it did so for actually pretty legitimate reasons that Marxists tend to not consider when lamenting about how industrialization destroyed the "traditional" family.

Also, maybe Marx himself wasn't selling cars but the eastern bloc had its own auto-industry and its own period of carification, the difference was that the post war housing rush pushed the Soviet bloc towards housing infrastructure that naturally led people to using cars less often than their western counterparts, those "commieblocks" that catch flack for not having as nice a facade as similar units built with less haste.

[-] TheControlled@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago

That's how I felt before I tried to kill myself. Relief. I hope OP was actually having a breakthrough instead.

[-] Damaskox@kbin.social 19 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Reminds me of my favorite Kurzgesagt video: Optimistic Nihilism

.

It is said that comparing yourself to others is not a good idea. Instead, compare yourself to your old self.

.

Sometimes you can find peace in the strangest ways and places!

[-] smollittlefrog@lemdro.id 11 points 1 year ago

But what if I'm doing worse than my old self

[-] Damaskox@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago

Gotta think about the reasons and doing something about it then 🙂

[-] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago

Embracing the solitude after 7 years of a toxic relationship has been a blissful realization i tell ya hwhat.

I feel like i am finally my true self instead of having to conform to someone else's notion of what a "boyfriend" should be. I turned 30 this year and i dont think ive peaked yet. The best is yet to come and my confidence is sky high.

Sorry ladies, I'm taken. By the handsome man above my bathroom sink.

[-] Asafum@feddit.nl 6 points 1 year ago

God do I envy your mindset. I can't even look in the mirror without wanting to strangle the ugly pile of human trash that I see reflected back at me.

[-] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 year ago

Go easy on him, hes doing his best

[-] Rooskie91@discuss.online 1 points 1 year ago

Loving yourself is hard. I used to think, "I just need to change/improve, then I'll be someone I can love," but I realized that is putting the cart before the horse. You can't change or improve until you love yourself, because the reality is that when you change or improve, you are still the same person you were, just with new skills, a new haircut, new clothes, whatever. That person you hate never goes away. You just have to love them as they are, and accepts their shortcomings and flaws.

[-] weeabooextract@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

To paraphrase a certain 20h YouTube video:

"This isn't bargaining, this is acceptance. Goodbye, ~~Skyrim~~ life."

[-] Jake_Farm@sopuli.xyz 1 points 1 year ago

Skyrim was a fun sandbox, but had as good writting as gary's mod.

[-] spudwart@spudwart.com 10 points 1 year ago
[-] JamesStallion@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 year ago

Parted from kin, banished to a lonely place, I wonder why my heart feels so little anguish and pain.

Consulting Zhuang Zi (daoist writer), I find where I belong. Surely my home is there in Not-Even-Anything land.

Po Zhou Yi, 815 AD.

[-] cmysmiaczxotoy@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

As an autist in solitude for 8-9 years who has had a long term romantic relationship for 7-8 years. The overall happiness level for me has been slightly better single and abstinent. There are positives and negatives from both ways of life but happiness does usually equalize

[-] nutsack@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

solitude is the highest state of human existence

[-] csolisr@communities.azkware.net 4 points 1 year ago

Why bother with the human experience, after all, if we're doomed to eventually forget it?

[-] badaboomxx@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

After a couple of bad relationships, I stopped caring about getting married, it took a weight off my back.

[-] Pharmacokinetics@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Well yeah dont feel sad about them but still work to find love.

[-] havokdj@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Acceptance is the final stage of grief

[-] Gamerman153@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 1 year ago

This man is halfway to Nirvana already

[-] motor_spirit@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

sick demo tape name

[-] DahGangalang@infosec.pub 1 points 1 year ago

Bruh, that's how Odium wins though

[-] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

He's gonna catch so much trim now.

[-] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 0 points 1 year ago

Meh, I just found some locals in the SW community, turns out being good with your mouth makes you a well liked enough client to start making legit friends

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Southwest? Smith and wesson? Sherlock and Watson?

[-] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

Sex workers.

[-] Iapar@feddit.de 3 points 1 year ago

Exactly. Just don't mention jar jar binks and you find friends in no time.

[-] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Don't mention him, but having a tongue like his tho...

[-] Kase@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

That's it, your speaking privileges are revoked

[-] tjarod11@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago

The more men who give into being single, the better my chances are. Imagine if I were to make this man feel wanted. If we're compatible as well, we could be happy.

[-] dangblingus@lemmy.dbzer0.com -5 points 1 year ago

Bruh. You don't have to live your life as an incel who accepts their fate. Never getting to kiss someone or hold their hand? Why? Are you stupid?

[-] pixeltree@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

I wish you could live a month in my head to understand

this post was submitted on 07 Nov 2023
282 points (96.4% liked)

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