this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2025
603 points (97.9% liked)

Greentext

6636 readers
1183 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca 282 points 1 month ago (5 children)

It's all water under the fridge

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 66 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A fridge over troubled water

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

I am in awe

[–] biscuitswalrus@aussie.zone 29 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You could retire off this pun.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] LodeMike@lemmy.today 133 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (4 children)

Fake: OP outside their house

Gay: spending time with a man

[–] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 14 points 1 month ago (5 children)

can't be sure but "> at guys house" reads like it was written by a woman

[–] steeznson@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (3 children)

How many women do you know who post on 4chan?

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Sonor@lemmy.world 84 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)
  • me, an icecube
  • finally, it's my day to shine
  • someone finally takes me out of the fridge
  • clumsy mofo drops me, I'm spiraling downwards into the deep unkown
  • when i think it can't be worse, i got kicked back into the darkness i came from
  • fml
[–] madjo@feddit.nl 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)
  • me, an ice cube
  • ugh, no I don't want to leave the freezer
  • oh no! He's picking me! Grab one of my annoying neighbours please!
  • you know what? I'll jump out of his hands! He'll surely have to pick me up and put me back.
  • what the fuck? He just kicks me underneath the freezer to melt uselessly?!
  • fml
[–] dave@feddit.uk 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)
  • me, an ice cube
  • can't wait to get out of this place
  • door opens every day, but never get to leave
  • anon finally picks me out--this is my chance
  • wriggle out of his inept grip
  • make a break for freedom under the fridge
  • mfw the fuckwit helps by actually kicking me further under
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] allidoislietomyself@lemmy.world 77 points 1 month ago (4 children)

My brother-in-law did this at my house the other day! My jaw almost hit the floor watching him try to kick that shit under the fridge. He did it in front of his son too. They didn't seee behind them, so I bent over and picked up the cubes and told them we don't do that in this house. I told my wife and she told her sister, they were both surprised. I had no idea people did this. Just pick them up and toss them in the sink.

[–] icelimit@lemmy.ml 63 points 1 month ago (21 children)

Rinse the ice and then keep using it. It's literally pristine again.

[–] javiwhite@feddit.uk 50 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Something tells me we can trust this user on their knowledge of ice and its limits.

[–] Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Between the 5 second rule and rinsing, the ice is probably cleaner than it was from the tray.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 17 points 1 month ago

Melt the ice cube, boil the resulting water to evaporate it, collect the vapour in a condenser, refreeze it... boom!

load more comments (19 replies)
[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 63 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] NOPper@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It doesn't work if you don't pre-print this out.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Jakeroxs@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My cats like to lick ice cubes so I'll leave them for them to lick across the floor lol

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 63 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Imagine kicking them under the fridge instead of just leaving them where they lie.

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I asked my wife to pick up ice cubes she dropped because it would be too easy to slip on them. I might have lost it when she then tried to kick them under the fridge.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 30 points 1 month ago (3 children)

“Tried”? She missed somehow?

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The fridge was a low-rider.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 month ago (2 children)

that's how you get cold puddle of water that you might step your socks in. the biggest ick.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Cruxifux@feddit.nl 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Or just throwing them in the sink? Y’all crazy.

[–] ByteJunk@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They're on the floor. How would I get them to the sink?? I don't think even Messi could kick them up there.

[–] stebo02@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 month ago (5 children)

So there's these things halfway up your legs and they're called knees. These can bend so can lower your upper body towards the floor, allowing your arms to reach the ice cube when extended.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 month ago (4 children)

This is my cats job. If he hears an ice cube fall he will run in, find it, and start batting it around the floor. Within seconds it's under the fridge.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 47 points 1 month ago

Maybe it's because I've mainly lived in temperate climates but this seems like a great way to get a lot of mold under your fridge.

[–] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

girls are so annoying i am constantly wikipedia printout page

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I keep at least twenty printed articles in several drawers throughout my house to preemptively head-off any and all arguments that may arise from situations that may arise contextually from events that could take place in that room.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 34 points 1 month ago (8 children)
[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Counter-print-out-a-wikipedia-page

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] underwire212@lemm.ee 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

It’ll evaporate in less than 24 hours. Not enough time for mould to develop. If I drop ice cube, I allow my cat to play with it without cleaning it up.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (6 replies)
[–] GooberEar@lemmy.wtf 28 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I'm trying really hard not to comment something like "Welcome to one of many, many joys of living with an immature teenage child."

Kicking the ice under the fridge is actually one of the least aggravating of the shitty things to do in the kitchen, but so indicative of what type of person they are. Other well-known classics include leaving a microscopically small portion of milk in the carton to avoid having to rinse the thing out and place it in the recycle bin and using the last clean cup in the cabinet so that you don't have to bring one of the dozen+ dirty cups you've accumulated in your room to the kitchen to be cleaned for reuse. Oh, and let's not forget drop a spoon of peanut butter the floor and leave it for the dog to clean up even though you know she's allergic to it so it makes her throw up and then later on causes a bunch of skin issues for her.

No, I'm not the least bit bitter. Why do you ask?

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (9 children)

I have a relative, full grown adult, they threw away a big-gulp cup almost entirely filled with ice into my trash. I do not have industrial trash-bags, I am not a mall, we do not have wheeled bins to collect solid and fluid waste at the end of the day. I have flimsy dollar-store trash can liners, because like most people, I am but a human of limited means.

I grabbed the cup and asked them why they did that. They stared at me without a hint of recognition or understanding. I pressed.

"The cup full of ice, why did you throw it away in the trash? The sink is two feet away."

Still puzzled. "So? it's just ice."

"WHAT IS ICE MADE OF?"

They shrugged. I sighed and let it go.

This story doesn't end there though. Because it led me to the most depressing epiphany of my adult life, which is that people broadly are not thinking. And I don't mean it in an edgy "I'm smarter than everyone" way, because I realized I am equally unthinking about a vast number of things, it's just that most people run on autopilot through their entire day, their entire week, their entire lives. You can be very, very smart and educated, and still not think.

So what is thinking then? It's conscious narrative exploration of current events in one's head, using language, using questions, using tools to rapidly explore the world around you as you move through it. I realized that I do that constantly (and that's also considered being on the spectrum.) It's why I don't throw full cups of liquid into other people's trash bags, but it's also why I'm miserable and overthink everything and have severe anxiety. No filter, no autopilot.

Our population only "thinks" when they're struggling, trying to overcome an obstacle, and for most of us, our obstacles are so abstract and hard to quantify that we just ride through our days. Capitalism has fueled an incentive to seek comforts and conveniences, so the vast majority of our day is in pursuit of comfort and conveniences, so we can stop thinking. The reward we seek is also our doom.

load more comments (9 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Irelephant@lemm.ee 26 points 1 month ago

Fictictous and Homosexual, anon is trying to scare off the girl.

[–] moonlight6205@lemm.ee 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Mustakrakish@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Next look up the wiki pages for mildew and mold.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] alphapuggle@programming.dev 13 points 1 month ago

This is a power move ngl

[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I do this occasionally, but I live in Arizona.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Ah, then you're nurturing the community of scorpions and centipedes. Best to do that so they don't start an uprising.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›