This is the whitest American question I’ve heard in a while.

Non-snarky answer: My guess is that after not answering any questions they'd assume you're just trying to waste their time and tell you to leave or actually be arrested for trespassing.

I live in New Zealand so me rambling about "the fifth" would probably make them call Social Services to come and help me since I would seem to be suffering from a mental health event.

Either that or they would think I was trolling and send me on my way with a stern reminder that wasting police time is a criminal offence.

In America, it would totally depend on your skin color.

Of course without committing a crime before and without saying anything else.

You will probably commit a crime or misdemeanor unknowingly on the way to the station. There is a reason you do not talk to the police, even if you think you're completely innocent.

https://youtu.be/d-7o9xYp7eE?si=ppgOcO6ZcOVPC0oB

They'd probably call social services or a doctor because someone going on about a "fifth amendment" in Switzerland is clearly in need of medical attention

"Sir, this is a Wendy's"

You'd be told to leave. If you didn't, you'd be arrested for trespassing. And being a fuckwit.

They'd probably search the database for anyone wanted of your name/description. And when it came back blank they'd probably leave you in a room for a few hours to see if anything happens. And then let you go.

If you turn yourself in you forfiet your personal belongings. They'd check your ID and see that you have no warrants and tell you to fuck off

Without any crime to suspect you of, they might detain you and question you. It's not uncommon for people to turn themselves in for crimes, and there are legitimate reasons to do so especially with a lawyer, namely to get out on bail easier, avoid having the police raid your home or place of work, and perhaps used to sway the prosecution for a more favorable sentencing, but if the police have no clue what to even charge you for and they can't figure one out, they'll just be confused and frustrated, which is a dangerous combination for police

Well they routinely murder folks who are doing nothing wrong at all, so I wouldn't risk it

the fifth ? are you sure ? it's a little old-school, evokes holy music... I would go for the third and the seventh instead, just to shake things up. Cops aren't used to daring chords like these, you'd totally destabilize them and they wouldn't be able to jail you

The officer would likely look up, tell you to get out, and go back to their work unless there was some obvious reason to arrest you.

Unless they felt like issuing a fine of some type for wasting their time.

You should call the non emergency number during the day and ask to speak to a manager and then ask your silly question and see what they say lol

Assuming of legal age, Not an officer or lawyer but think they'll detain you for erratic behavior until the situation gets sorted out

Most likely, in my opinion:

Hold you for 24 hours to see if anyone reports a crime and describes you as the perpetrator.

When no one does, find a crime which seems plausible for you, and where they've gotten a description that could possibly fit you.

Interrogate you about it, giving you your lawyer of course. Assuming you do not have a solid alibi for that particular crime, there's a real chance you'll be charged and eventually convicted.

If you do have a solid alibi, they might keep looking for other crimes to charge you with, or they might give up.

If they give up, they're likely to charge you with something related to wasting their time, for which you will at minimum have to pay a fine.

In my state a police sergeant can have you held for a psychiatric examination if they determine that you are a possible threat to yourself or others. You'd be transported under guard to the nearest locked ER and be examined. If you kept playing games you could spend 30 days in a locked ward and be liable for the bill.

If the cops decide to be extra nice to you, they could get you a public defender. They'd be overworked and advise you to stop playing games.

What is a 5th? And why is everyone talking about that?