Stop stealing their stuff, scumbag.
this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2025
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No
Yeah, people who drink milk at work are super weird
It's pretty common to have milk in your tea
Tea.
Someone emptied my lunchbox and left it on the counter, i've had a padlock on it ever since.
What’s the point though if it’s empty?
Just leave a decoy bottle laced with large amounts of sleep medication and laxatives. Sit back. Watch the shitshow unfold.
Question: I bring milk into the office laced with powerful psychedelics. It is clearly labeled with my name, saying “This is mine and for my consumption only. Do not drink”. Someone takes and drinks it.
Is this illegal?
In the USA, yes.
Where is the barbed wire?
Ass crack bandit!
Troy Barnes: So please, approve the Dean's new security measure called "Troy's law.", because a camera in the bathroom...
[He chokes up]
Troy Barnes: is better than a quarter in your butt.
Dean Pelton: As we've seen, the Ass Crack Bandit can be defeated by using the three "B"s: Belts, briefs, and buddies. Good. The bandit always gets his victims when they're alone. Bend over with friends over.
Maybe they would have to do that if you'd stop stealing the milk, Brenda
Imagine working in an office where you need to do that? Who says to themselves, "gee, i didn't bring that thing so it must be OK for me to have some"? These kinds of tactics don't come from nowhere
At one of my previous jobs it was the head of HR stealing people's food. Every time somebody complained he'd put up a sign and start "investigating", but nothing ever came of it despite having cameras pointed at the fridge. Eventually someone got tired of it, put up their own camera, and caught the head of HR on camera a couple times. Apparently the president of the company didn't care and brushed it off. I only found out because the guy with evidence blanket emailed the videos to the whole company. Of course he got written up for doing that.
I'm surprised the HR guy didn't get the shit kicked out of him
So I have to cook for my clients every day. Leftovers from most meals are kept in our staff fridge because the guys will absolutely gorge themselves on them if left alone.
Every fucking morning, our old nurse would come in and head straight for the fridge to make a plate of those leftovers. Never once brought in her own breakfast or lunch. If the behaviorist didn't cook something for her for lunch when she was serving the guys, she'd go right back in the fridge.
Say there was enough for a whole other meal and we planned to use it again, put a big label like "FOR FRIDAY'S DINNER." It didn't matter... You'd go in and there'd be a huge chunk missing. One day, she actually ate a half of a half-serving tray worth of meat. I went in the next day and flipped. "Oh, I didn't know it was for today." "IT HAS A LABEL ON IT THAT SAYS IT'S FOR DINNER! I HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE THEM NOW! YOU ATE HALF THE MEAT MEANT FOR 8 PEOPLE!" "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know..."
It didn't stop her, either... The worse part is that she was skinny as a twig.
Just start calling her The Food Thief in front of people at every opportunity. Public shaming can be powerful.
After much hinting and me going off, she clearly just didn't care...
We eventually just started keeping the leftovers upstairs. If the guys ate it in a sitting, so be it, we at least had a teachable moment when they came and complained their stomach was upset.
Likely that was her only food source.
Definitely not. She was salaried and made a little more than double what I do.
I literally had this argument with the coworker who would eat other people’s food:
“ did you eat my fucking sandwich??”
“Oh. It was yours?”
“Why the fuck would you do that??”
“Well i didn’t know it was yours”
“But you knew for certain it wasn’t YOURS, since you didn’t make and bring it!”
“People should label stuff if they don’t want it to get eaten”
Most frustrating person i ever met. Laziest fuck ever too. This guy couldn’t walk without dragging his feet
When I was in the Navy, a dude kept eating my fucking chips and salsa. It was a small work center, we all knew whose shit was whose in our tiny fridge. So one day I put really fucking hot hot sauce in my salsa and left it in the fridge. Motherfucker has the gall to get pissed at me like I'm the asshole. He didn't eat my salsa again after that.
A guy was drinking and eating people's food at a job I had.
One day someone peed in a pepsi can and put it back in the fridge.
Later the guy comes out of the kitchen screaming he's gonna punch whoever did that.
The Big boss comes out of his office and asks him why he drank someone else open can? And when he almost got calm the boss told him to leave and never come back, since he said he would hit someone and that taking sips out of others drinks was unsanitary.
It was soooo funny to see him leave in rage, hit the store sign and hurt himself doing so.
The guy who peed in the can was scared to lose his job. The boss told him "next time to come to me before taking drastic actions" and all was swell.
In the end it was a beautiful day!
I had a roommate burn a bunch of shit from our garage because he didn't know who owned it.
He's like, "I asked the other roommate and he said it wasn't his so I figured it was just here with the apartment."
"Motherfucker there are 3 people that live here. If it's not yours, and it's not the other guy's, it's probably fucking mine and you should ask before you just light shit on fire."
Normally I'd think it was because he just didn't like me, but after knowing the guy, he was just an actual idiot.
I don't like violence.
But some people need to get punched in the mouth
This guy couldn’t walk without dragging his feet
That fucking drives me up the wall. How did your parents fail so badly that they couldn't teach you to pick up your feet?
The inside corner of his shoes were warped and smashed because he’d just slip his feet into his shoes and wiggle em in. Dude was so lazy I was convinced he never washed his water bottle and had mono or something cause the dude even spoke slow, like Kevin from the office
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You know what, I wouldn't even bother if it happened once. I wouldn't like to be in the same situation, and while I would ask first, I understand we're not the same. The moment it happens the second time, though... Pure laxative with white food colouring.
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New interview question: "please show me the inside of the common refrigerator."
I remember solving something similar using an opaque bottle with "GI supplements, don't drink" written in sharpie. Especially since the first time it was actually true and they didn't believe the warning.
I used to live in a shared house and made some hot honey. Bunch of chillis chopped and simmered in honey.
I found a tiny amount on a pizza was good to add a hint of sweet and made it pretty spicy. Can't imagine having it concentrated on toast goes down too well but that is what someone did when they stole it.
Don't give me ideas... I love spicy stuff, and it has been a pretty good deterrent in of itself from having my foodstuffs stolen. So two birds with one stone...
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