"I'll just be in here practicing my trombone."
this post was submitted on 15 Jul 2025
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name
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Riker wouldn't clear his history since he wouldn't be ashamed of people finding recordings of some good old fashioned space boinking. He'd probably be proud.
I can't tell if I should be proud or ashamed at immediately knowing what scene this was from. I'm gonna go with proud.
Seeing as he explicitly states that he does not need fantasy women, I wouldn't expect Riker to ever use the holodeck this way.
On the other hand, he probably does use it to take real people on fantastical dates. So his history is probably clean, but the recordings (if they exist) could probably fetch a good price as wholesome porn.
There is also the metamorph episode where he explicitly does go to the holodeck to simulate her.
Wait what?
Yup, she kisses him twice to demonstrate her metamorphic properties, after which he goes straight to the holodeck to continue on that "line of thought". He even tells the bridge crew he will be busy with that. (Paraphrasing)
Things probably get dry after he's banged most of the available crew and is waiting for the next crew rotation. He doesn't need fantasy women but sometimes things get a little slow
You should see the things Riker gets up to in Quark's holosuites.
I don't think the universal translator will even allow me to tell you.
I tried, but it was so filthy the translator reset my language to Muppet
Herdy der hur, flippity flop flippity flop, bork bork bork bork, shimer for er, bork bork bork bork bork bork bork, flippity flop, bork bork bork boooork bork bork BORK!!!! Der shoopin, bumm sergudd.
"Oh my. It seems Number One enjoys a number one."
Actually that's a hybrid number thirtytwelve backslid into an inverted number four. Just looks like a number one until your chakras fall out.
