this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2025
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Funny

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[–] Allero@lemmy.today 50 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Keep it in mind: every time you take a shit, you're essentially reverse dildoing your ass. Very homo.

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Umm, reverse homo, so super straight actually.

[–] Allero@lemmy.today 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Sucking dick is then always hetero, because it goes in on the other side, so kinda reversed too?

[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sucking dick is always okay

[–] JoeBigelow@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 month ago

Can you imagine if they homies weren't cool with a little BJ now and again?!

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wiping your ass is especially gay

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I read a story where a guy didnt wipe ass cause it makes you gay. He let it dry out and "handle itself". I was really hoping he was pro-bidet....

[–] ryannathans@aussie.zone 3 points 1 month ago

That makes my ass itch just reading it

[–] Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This has happened to me before.

[–] Ebby@lemmy.ssba.com 59 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nothing to debate here with a username like that. Just smile and nod as I skip to the next post...

[–] kayzeekayzee@lemmy.blahaj.zone 32 points 1 month ago (6 children)
[–] Atomic@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have no idea. And I'd rather not find out either. Nothing good will come from trying to find out.

[–] Jerkface@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

A little good might come ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] RustyShackleford@literature.cafe 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Technically it's possible, but the likelihood of it ever happening to someone is about as good as you finding a leprechaun's pot of gold.

[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Hah, jokes on you, that has happened to me

I found a pot of gold

I just found pot then lost all motivation to keep looking.

Funny memes go ha ha

[–] RedAggroBest@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

Sounds like you underestimate the power of opiate-based constipation. I've heard from addicts of this happening enough that I just assumed it would only happen to someone that severely constipated.

[–] scoobford@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yes. It hasn't happened to me, but I had a close call once.

One of many things I will not be discussing with my therapist.

[–] Quadhammer@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

"Let's go back to the time you had that life altering turd splooge. How do you think this affected your relationship with your father?"

[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Im curious too but i know there's a 0% chance of getting a straight answer here in the comments.

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 1 points 1 month ago

I sure hope so.

[–] rbos@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 month ago

Y'all need some fibre

[–] classic@fedia.io 12 points 1 month ago

Lots of TIL in this one

[–] TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

that one guy on Quora's quest to shit cum and piss at the same time is actually possible. Who knew

[–] Quadhammer@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

The unholy trinity....

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

What? No matter how bad a diet I’ve had this has never been a thing.

[–] random_character_a@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Sitting here doom scrolling lemmy and waiting for my first mellencamp.

[–] LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 month ago

I can almost feel the definition of mellencamp replacing a childhood memory in my brain.

[–] Zdvarko@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

So aah for science what diet would um assist in this happening?

[–] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

As a plant eater I hate to say this but a pure meat diet (absolutely nothing else) will do this to you, it’ll be a once-a-week (or so) ass ripping constipation dump with the best chances for your eh… fulfilment.

[–] PoliteDudeInTheMood@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago

I had a UTI recently (thanks to the diabeetus) and for some reason I got constipated as a side effect. Can confirm, 3 days backup was enough to trigger this interesting event.

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 2 points 1 month ago

As a pure meat eater, i have some bad news, carnivore poops are regular, small, and without any constipation.

[–] RedAggroBest@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Ignore any other advice and do heroin. The post-constipation dump is the only way I thought this happened to people lol

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If you ever have to take a dump outside, away from a toilet, this can happen more easily. At least it's easier to notice. Happens to me nearly every time I have to do so. I work way out in the field, so often enough. Probably happens at the toilet more often than you think. You just have it tucked so piss stays in the bowl.

[–] IndolentRoshi@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yeah, but you probably don't notice the ejaculate because you piss too.

[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

You think guys don't notice getting a sudden erection or feeling an orgasm? There's more to it than just having cum come out of your dick.

[–] Olhonestjim@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

It doesn't require an erection, and it never felt like an orgasm to me. Just the same momentary prostate stimulation you feel when you shit.

[–] But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I thought it would be called a Mellencamp cause of his shit music.

I swear I am gonna jam a microphone down that man’s throat if I have to hear “small town” one more damn time. You can’t just rhyme small town with small town, stop saying small town!!

[–] Stamau123@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Yeah that had to be the worst, most repetitive song I've heard on the radio, and that's saying something

[–] then_three_more@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Careful, you might summon the Wanky Shit Demon by mistake

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 3 points 1 month ago

Sooo its not normal? Have I been lied too?

Everyone here with pre signs of colon/prostate cancer. Not saying it can't happen but man, every male gets to deal with prostate cancer at some point in their life (most grow old without it ever being noticeable, but its still thete.)

[–] devfuuu@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Nothing like suffering from the ass destroyer ripping you apart while stimulating the prostate and getting that sweet weird boner.

[–] thatradomguy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This reminds me about this really weird forum post I read about a long time where a lady started talking about how she orgasmed during child birth. I call BS.

[–] salty_chief@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why would you call Bruce Springsteen?