Be cool to each other. We'll welcome most occult themes, it's okay if you stray from witchcraft a bit.
No advertising. No trolling. No hate. Violaters will be removed unceremoniously.
We love art credits when possible.
I'd like to see the drama series where someone comes in and says "this village of 600 people has had 31 murders in the last five years. All of which were solved by old grannies, visiting chefs, and cats walking on typewriters. It's obvious that law enforcement is dropping the ball big time." 24 episodes doing a complete teardown of the local police.
I won't spoil it by naming it, but I really enjoyed a recent mystery where the amateur detective nearly dies at the hands of someone he didn't suspect at all, and gets saved because the old, fat local cop was miles ahead of him the whole time.
I wonder what's the ratio between the number of murders in Norway and number of muders in Jo Nesbø's novels.
I mean, that's pretty close to Murder, She Wrote.
law enforcement? Their job is to enforce the "law", not to solve problems.
And the "law" says - bribe them or go to jail.
Why not all four?
"Sir, there's a dead body in my soup. I've investigated and found the culprit. It was me. You're next."
But how was the soup?
I feel like soup reviewing is a trap. It's not just lovely soup all the time. The lows can go real low.
I don’t think they are forcing you to eat the whole bowl.
Sometimes one mouthful is enough
That’s… that’s what she said?
She tried, but I couldn't understand her.
A favorite family story is my parents, when they were still dating, went to a family owned Chinese restaurant and ordered food. My mom did not know there were shrimp in the eggrolls and she does not like seafood. She attempted to politely decline them. The chef came out and brandished a cleaver and yelled “You order you eat!” And slammed it into the table. My dad assured her he would eat them.
We went there a lot growing up. Great food.
That seems… inappropriate?
Ooh that's a cool "wish granted with twist."
Review soups made by toddlers in young-chef school where they spit in it for taste and all.
Seer who prohesizes your doom during witch-hunt period.
Solve very petty and boring crimes in an old english village like "someone stole my sweetroll"
Commit truly evil crimes in an old village like kicking the local cats.
I want to read a story about the two little old ladies being very gay
Edit: I don't just mean any story about gay old ladies, but specifically the extremely homoerotic tension between the crime solving old lady and the crime committing old lady
And! This is important. They have to be roommates.
One of them has the early stages of dementia (or pretends to) and the town kinda humors her.
They have more history than one (or both) of them knows.
It has to end with them doing crime together. Possibly reviewing soup.
That would be the Killing Eve series, but without the old part.
Prolific napkin theft, which is incorporated into guerrilla public art that gets installed overnight.
Then go home to soup and sandwich reviewing. Gotta have both obviously
I would just like to add, I'm the seller of the "seer that prophesies your doom" spell and we are very much open to best offers and trades. Looking to downsize to a more utopian realm.
That's just the freedom force
For people who haven't read a lot of 1980's comics.
I feel sad I'm not elegible for the last two...
I'm not old.
Don't worry there's still time to become old!
If youre rich, you might get old in the bunker!
You're only as old as you feel!
Don't worry! If not for global warming; you would be someday!
Not that im suggesting we do literally anything with any hope if not ending all life; that would be violent and violence is wrong.
If we count being in my mid 30's as old, I'm already all of these but the crime solving.
I have solved a lot of crimes. My fav was 'the mystery of why my head hurts, my purse is stretched, and i have like two hundred dollars of fancy cheese in my fridge', mostly because in the process of solving it I found someone cute sleeping in my bed.
Does gay crime count as crime?
Seer
tbh i'd only prophecize the doom of humans
Isn't the old lady who comes comes just the movie "hot fuzz?"