this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2025
28 points (100.0% liked)

WomensStuff

637 readers
197 users here now

Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.

Rules…

  1. Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Anyone under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is free to decide whether a women's community is a good fit for them.
  2. Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
  3. Don’t hate on groups, hatefilled talk about groups is not allowed. Ever.
  4. No governmental politics, so no talk of Trump actions etc. We recommend Feminism@beehaw.org for that, but here is an escape from it.
  5. New accounts or users with few comments may have their posts removed to prevent spam and bad-faith participation.

founded 6 months ago
MODERATORS
 

Did it effect your views at all?

top 21 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I grew up in the 80s and 90s during "the gay plague" and terrifying adverts about it. There were no openly LGBT people around me until I left school at 16. For me it was that the rigid school system kept us in the closet. When I went into the real world I met loads! It was a breath of fresh air.

[–] glorkon@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Thank fuck I live in a more secular country, so there weren't these open attacks by conservative and religious people on LGBT+ folk. A couple of my school mates from the 80s and 90s came out at different moments over the years, one of them works for gay suborganization of the Social Democratic Party here in Germany. I always look forward to his birthday parties, because the people who attend are truly open minded people whose company I enjoy very much. The breath of fresh air you were mentioning.

[–] Sunshine@piefed.ca 7 points 2 weeks ago

I wish I knew more.

[–] ZDL@lazysoci.al 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I knowingly met one between 0 and 25 years of age, and he was miserable, being the default victim of every prank and worse at and outside of school.

And I'm ashamed to say that I shared very negative opinions of homosexuality and even worse ones about transgender people; essentially a mirror of my times and place.

After 25 I started meeting more open gay people and my first (known) trans-woman and realized, to my shock, "these are just people". I decided from then on to stop being a bigot. I don't think it was a huge coincidence that some feelings I'd been struggling with post-16 or so suddenly made so much more sense and had me realize I was more than incidentally bi.

[–] Gwen@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago

I knew one but I didn’t speak to him. He came out as bi to my sister and I suspected that he had a thing for me, but I’ve never been into guys and avoided him. Then at uni a gay man tried to get me in bed. This was before I transitioned so, ehm, I guess that I must have had a vibe. I’d like to rant about why we were not open back then but it feels off topic. Wish I had had more positive representation, could’ve avoided spending two decades in hell.

[–] SparkleBooty@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

(Im using fake names for everyone)

A lot. My best friend Gary in high school was a gay guy. He was so funny. The local pot dealer Victoria was a bi sexual, although we mostly considered her a lesbian bc she mostly dated girls.

My gay guy best friends brother Dave is also gay, a friend of mine Stacey, her sister recently started dating women, Victoria's neighbor Jessica was bi and dated both, had another bi sexual female friend Lacey, another guy Bob, our local pot dealers best friend Ryan was a gay guy also.

Victoria would throw all girl parties only and called it 'Pussy Palooza' where no guys were allowed. I use to hang out with Victoria a lot bc she lived down the street from me and we'd always go to parties together.

She obviously knew a lot of gay ppl so I was around gay ppl quite often.

It's crazy bc now, I don't know any gay ppl. I knew a lot in high school though

[–] Pipster@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago

I don't think I knew any, not until uni when 3 of us shared a flat and one was a lesbian and then meet more on nights out with her and her friends etc.

In later life I know that at least two people from my school came out as gay and one as trans. And a friend at uni came out as trans years after.

My parents were never homophobic or transphobic overtly, my dad would make some comments that echoed popular humour at the time of making fun of stereotypes. My mother worked for an org that dealt with discrimination claims so she always had a better handle on things.

I do think i grew up with a certain level of homophobia and transphobia, not helped by shows like Little Britain... It was just in the culture but I like to think I've shed basically all of it bar some unwelcome somewhat intrusive dissonant thoughts these days.

[–] Beebabe@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

I knew one kiddo, he was bullied endlessly from elementary until high school. I personally started dating another girl in highschool, and my locker was filled to the brim with come to Jesus Lucifer hellfire messages on paper soon after. This was the 00s.

[–] ElfBean@fedia.io 2 points 2 weeks ago

Before 16? Maybe one or two, excluding myself, but we pretty much kept it hidden. Turns out there were way more of us and we all came out after we left secondary school and the awful environment the other kids created for us

[–] IndieSpren@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Growing up in Texas, I knew none until after I came out. But, after I came out, one of my friends I had known pre transition also came out.

I believe I would have transitioned at least 5 years earlier if I had known any trans ppl. I just didn't know enough about the existence and effects of hrt, vaginoplasty, etc.

Even without knowing any lgbt ppl, I was thankfully still a leftist agnostic ally and not a homophobe.

[–] LadyButterfly@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Lord growing up LGBT+ in Texas must have been tricky. It's transphobic enough now I dread to think what it was like then

[–] IndieSpren@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

I'm still in my early 20s, 5 years ago wasn't much different than now. My middle school was in a fairly red area, but my high school was very blue.

[–] foxglove@lazysoci.al 2 points 2 weeks ago

none until high school, and only then it was some fellow classmates at a time when LGBT+ rights had made some advances and when I was a gay rights activist - otherwise I knew maybe one closeted lesbian or bisexual family member, and otherwise gay people were just associated with pedophilia and rape growing up, the idea at the time was that gay folks are sexually perverse and wrong. Growing up, Michael Jackson was like the paradigm "gay" person. I grew up in the Southern U.S., though.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

One. I knew one kid that was gay.

Mostly I didn't care if someone was LGBT+. Mostly still don't, unless someone is being a bigot towards them. Then I get to let loose by being a complete dick to the bigot without feeling bad. Otherwise I can't really give a shit what's in your pants or who you're fucking. Are you an ok person to be around? Good enough for me.

[–] ValiantDust@feddit.org 2 points 2 weeks ago

I'm sure I knew quite a few but didn't know they were LGBT+

Some people I went to school with came out when they were in university. Either because they didn't know before (like me) or they didn't feel like it in school (can't blame them). Several men my parents' age came out in their fifties and live with male partners now. I guess society changed enough for them to feel save enough.

It didn't really change my views. I was raised very liberal and with a "it doesn't affect me at all so why care?" attitude. Though maybe I was a bit ignorant on LGBT+ topics. Maybe I would have realised earlier that I wasn't hetero myself. But since I neither had any problems from not knowing nor from figuring it out, I doesn't matter much to me.

[–] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

None. I was an adult before I ever knew a gay person. By that point I'd probably met hundreds but you guys are good at hiding it and I am not the most observant person.

[–] starlinguk@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

I knew a bunch of gay people in the eighties but even now some of them haven't come out. One of my lesbian friends is married to a guy. She's definitely not bi.

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

When I was in primary school I didn't know any at all, when I was in secondary school I met 3 LGBT+ people in addition to myself.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 2 points 2 weeks ago

What is "young"?

[–] frenchfryenjoyer 1 points 2 weeks ago

Knew a couple, one of my best friends in school was open about being gay. I felt sorry for him though because he'd constantly make self depreciating jokes about himself being gay, and you could tell he'd been bullied a lot