!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.
All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.
Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.
If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.
Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.
If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here. This includes using AI responses and summaries.
Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!
The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!
Notable concepts include rejecting coercive forms of discourse, gathering facts through observing without evaluating, genuinely and concretely expressing feelings and needs, and formulating effective and empathetic requests.
Why the fucking fuck does that need a name? People incapable of such basic communication aren't really going to be fixed by slapping a weird label on it.
Because once it has a name, it makes it easier to describe and reference in research literature, and thus makes it easier to draw conclusions on.
Everything has some super specific name that professionals in some field use for it because they regularly need to distinguish it from other similar thing that the broader public does not care about.
We don't have a name for non-golfers either.
We do, actually. We call ourselves ateeists.
Fair enough, but just because a term exists doesn't mean it's sensible.
Smart. That's enough.
Well. Except that one. Which lacks zazz
It reminds me of people on LGBT forums and seeing shit like: "I'm a man, and I like women, but I don't feel sexual attraction towards all of them, only the ones I feel a connection with; what are my labels?"...and wanting to scream "NORMAL! NORMAL IS YOUR LABEL! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!".
Meanwhile everyone is like "Oh, you're ace+/romantic"..../sigh...
We really need to bring back the "it's complicated" label but for sexuality instead of relationships. We can just dump 90% of people in there and call it a day.
Tribalism has run rampant. Stuff like this is fairly innocuous if a bit much. When people get militant about it then it becomes a problem.
Wait till you learn about how language works ...
Well clearly it's making OP think twice about it. I think it's completely possible for people to lack some component of these communication skills simply because they haven't had anything that brought them to their attention before.
And to be fair, berating people who don't understand these concepts doesn't "fix" them either.
No I only communicate violently. /s
It is not unpractical. You don’t need to follow every bullet point for every conversation. In most cases a normal professional conversation just need to be respectful. Some of the non violent techniques are only important in specific situations (e.g. difficult colleague in a stressful scenario)
You have to, even if you don’t do the four steps out loud.
You can use non-violent communication even if you only do steps 1 and 4 out loud, as long as you understand 2 and 3.
No, we often communicate via messages attached to arrows and occasionally someone gets hit. And someone once got burned while doing smoke signals.
Personally I prefer communicating by repeatedly punching coworkers and customers in order to send a message in morse code.
Nothing like pulling an arrow out of your arm or leg and seeing "fuck you" on an attached note. 😂
No. It seems like pointless "HR" talk. I try to be direct and dry with my communication and very neutral so personalities dont clash while working. Generally I have no conflicts at work and the few I have had I work through it and make no attempt to resolve anything.
I seriously dislike these somewhat new wording because it trivializes actual problems.
In this case it makes anything that isn't sweet and nice and places it directly at the same severity as actual violence
For those that can't distinguish between actual violence and hurt feelings, I don't know what to tell you, but there is a huge difference between me breaking your bones and me breaking your heart
I'm not trying to negate shitty bosses or toxic work environments, not at all, but I hate that this is now called violence.
It's the same as people calling everything rape. You're staying out late in a hotel lobby with some people and when going back up in the elevator you ask the girl that was with you of she would like to join you for a nightcap? Yeah, raaaape! (This happened)
I get the point of it but I feel that the definition of this very "non violent communication" literally makes it "violence" within itself.
i really don't know what you're on about at the start, but exactly which definition of nonviolent communication literally makes nonviolent communication violence within nonviolent communication? i honestly can't follow
Well, this is not something you do, as in a once and done action. Like, you don't schedule a meeting to talk feelings. It's an approach. The idea is to practice it consciously to reach the goal of just doing it spontaneously. Stressed people with deadlines are exactly the kind of people who can take advantage of and appreciate nonviolent communication. It can help teams in highly stressful circumstances reach high levels of performance while keeping dysfunctions from stress to a minimum. Not to mention negative effects in their personal lives. Angry, burnout and fatigued people are actually really lousy workers and the least effective overall. Dealing with negative feelings can help reduce these ill effects.
Yes. I focus on making direct requests and on trying to understand the unmet needs of others. A large part of what I do is train people to believe that they can say "no" to me without arbitrary repercussions.
Yes I do if I really need to clean the air or if I want something from the boss but I'm a factory worker so with my colleagues the need rarely arises. If it does it's pretty funny to see how seamlessly you can actually switch between brutal workplace banter and sharing something genuine. It doesn't have to take a lot of time if you're upfront with it.
As it turns out... yes, although I was unaware that there was a codified definition for this. There are parts of this that I'm not doing, so thank you for linking such a useful resource!
IMO, doing this is really non-negotiable. Not behaving in this manner can be counterproductive at best, and land you in hot water with HR at the worst. People are on the lookout, and rightly so, for bias, discrimination, bullying, and malice. So having strong and warm relationships is important to make sure your worst days are not misinterpreted by others. This is even more crucial if you're in management. Having a solid communication strategy is paramount to enabling the best in all relationships, and having a good experience for yourself at the same tie.
Going by the written-word on Wikipedia... yeah, this is a lot. I honestly think this is the kind of thing that goes better with practice, and maybe having a small note (phone, paper, whatever) with the critical points to hit, would make that easier than recalling two pages of instructions. You can also be up-front with people, explaining "I'm trying something new, please indulge me for a moment". After all, who doesn't mind getting extra care and attention?
Maybe the reason why nonviolent communication seems foreign in the workplace is because there is violent communication inherent to the workplace relationship.
It's a nice concept for interpersonal relationships regardless of the setting, but it's got limited applicability in a results driven setting.
Isn't it directly related to 'non-violent conflict resolution' ? Maybe people should look at that first to get a grasp. As for real world benefits look at the outcomes (effects) in schools (Netherlands and other places in the world where it's already taught).
Humanistic psychology has a way to describe things in very long and broad manners that might sell a lot of books to schools, but contain very little practical information.
Also, they often use specific terms that can mean one thing in psychology but means something completely different to anyone in any other field, who have not studied the exact psychology book that they're referencing.
It's a lot simpler than described on wikipedia, and you do not have to discuss feelings with your co-workers.
The point of including your own feelings in the sentence is to turn to the topic away from fruitless chasing of logical arguments where there are none or they are irrelevant. It's about taking personal ownership of the problem, so that you don't claim that it is the other persons problem, even if they are the one who needs to do something in order to solve it.
So…
For 2 and 3, yes, it’s normal to talk about emotions and feelings, as long as you’re not overshadowing other peoples need to vent.
For 1, get a different job if you’re not constantly striving for heart attacks, kidney failures or brain strokes.
For 4, I was going to make a very dumb joke, but… change work place.
I like this playlist of sessions by the creator of Nonviolent Communication for anyone interested in learning more about the concept.
At work you should be direct, and be polite. No need to bring feelings in.
Im a social worker so i learnd to use it without thinking. It doesnt have to be complicated or exclusively emotional. I actualy think everybody in any situation would benefit from it.
Just yesterday I was coaching someone on how to turn their demands into requests, so I guess yeah.
No. We do hasty, vague and passive-aggressive communication.