this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2025

183 points (96.4% liked)

Ask Lemmy

35101 readers

2339 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

6) No US Politics.

Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

Bluetreefrog@lemmy.world

TheSaneWriter@lemm.ee

TheSaneWriter@lemmy.thesanewriter.com

Asudox@lemmy.world

lemmy_bot@lemmy.world

beefbaby182@lemmy.world

ModeratorCan@lemmy.world

neidu3@sh.itjust.works

asudox@lemmy.asudox.dev

candyman337@lemmy.world

candyman337@sh.itjust.works

183

Does anyone else feel worried when you see a big number in the Lemmy notification inbox? (futurology.today)

submitted 2 weeks ago by chaosCruiser@futurology.today to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

154 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Every time I see that little red number in my inbox, my first thought is: Did I mess up? My brain jumps to the worst-case scenario—maybe I said something controversial, and now everyone’s correcting me and downvoting my stupid comments. Even though, most of the time, the messages are actually helpful and fun, that number still triggers some sort of insecurity and anxiety. The bigger it gets, the louder my worries grow.

Logically, I know I don’t screw up that often, and most feedback is neutral or even positive. But deep down, my insecure monkey brain panics at the thought of being wrong—or worse, publicly called out. Even when I’m right, the number still makes my stress levels spike up. What if people disagree with me? What if they don’t like what I wrote?

And yes, I see the irony in posting this. Writing about it is basically asking for it and feeding the very anxiety I’m trying to ignore. Maybe it’s my version of exposure therapy.

(page 3) 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] LoafedBurrito@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

I do still freak out thinking i've been banned. Then i remember this isn't reddit and lemmy appreciates free speech. Then i look at the notifications and most of them are just people adding on to my comment and a good bit of upvotes.

It's nice to be in a place full of open minded people who are nerdy. Just where i want to be.

[–] lemmyknow@lemmy.today 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

At 324 and going, I don't think I care much. I just don't interact with many, and don't mark read without interacting. So they remain

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Perspectivist@feddit.uk 2 points 2 weeks ago

At worst it's bunch of strangers on the other side of the world saying mean things to a person they know nothing about. I might lose a small part of the little faith I have left in humanity but I take none of it personally.

[–] urheber@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 weeks ago

It tingles my nervea

[–] jimmy90@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

lol naaaah :)

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

I haven't gotten to a point where I couldn't read all the messages I got yet

[–] plactagonic@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Last week this happened!

I didn't remember writing the post, nothing offensive I was just asking about good boardgames to play drunk. It was bit surprising seeing the notifications.

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] WindyRebel@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Your name is chaosCruiser. Fucking embrace the chaos!

[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 1 points 2 weeks ago

I merely cruise through the chaos, letting it happen everywhere around me. No comments on who caused it originally.

There is no clarity, there is confusion.

There is no structure, there is disarray.

There is no order, there is chaos.

[–] _cryptagion@anarchist.nexus 2 points 2 weeks ago

No, because I don’t give a shit if people don’t like what I have to say and decide to be petulant about it.

[–] LavaPlanet@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I dunno about you, but I had that as a left over from reddit, damn they're unnecessarily harsh over there.

[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It takes time to heal from that kind of trauma. Stay strong!

[–] LavaPlanet@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

Thanks, lovely.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 weeks ago

👁️‍🗨️👀👁️

I've never even looked, I use Boost.

[–] WhatGodIsMadeOf@feddit.org 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I didn't read anything but the title. When I see a lot in the inbox I mark all as read and never look back.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] frostedtrailblazer@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I feel I need a few weeks to respond when I notice people dog piling me. It’s not common, but I don’t want to deal with all that negativity out there gate with people when I’m just looking to have a conversation.

Some people are looking to jump on you the second you even broach some topics which can be a bit frustrating.

Thankfully most of Lemmy has been so friendly, it’s other places that actually have gotten to me more.

[–] chaosCruiser@futurology.today 2 points 2 weeks ago

Judging by some of the other comments here, there are surprisingly many people who try to have a civilized conversation in a places where things escalate very easily into a flame war. I prefer to avoid conversations that lead to that much negativity, which highlights yet another interesting usage difference. Because of that, I don't face anywhere near as much hostility as some other people. If I used Lemmy that way, dogpiling might occur more frequently, and I might approach it exactly the way you do—by neglecting those messages for a while.

Speaking of the friendly vibe, I think that's just one of the many benefits of being a small platform. If Lemmy got like 100x the number of users, that vibe would probably shift in a more negative direction.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] RedPandaRaider@feddit.org 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Yep. Although for me it's not the fear of screwing up, but knowing that I'll be infuriated when I check them.

Usually it's politics in that case and you already know a bunch of people will dogpile onto you despite you being right. You'll get the same stupid liberal misconception multiple times from different people.

It's infuriating and something no platform can fix. A fix would require the overton window to move.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] pewgar_seemsimandroid@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 weeks ago

i get dopamine.

load more comments