this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2025
212 points (100.0% liked)

The Onion

6766 readers
656 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
seahorse@midwest.social
pbrisgreat@midwest.social
212
ICE Boasts Zero Murders Committed By 5-Year-Olds Since Child Detainments Began (theonion.com)
submitted 11 hours ago by ZeroCool@lemmy.ca to c/theonion@midwest.social
3 comments fedilink hide all child comments
top 3 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] TribblesBestFriend@startrek.website 9 points 8 hours ago

Nearly ate the onion on this one

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 14 points 11 hours ago

Bullshit. The only thing that can stop bad five-year-olds with guns is good five-year-olds with guns.

[–] FerretyFever0@fedia.io 4 points 11 hours ago

Not yet, don't worry, I can fix that.