I have also had trouble getting into games like this, but advice from my friends is that it's actually less about the simulation, more about the stories and hilarity that can emerge from the simulation. In particular, I was advised to name each of my starting dwarves, and also to be less "smart" in how I played. In Rimworld, for example, I would load earlier saves if I lost someone important, and I was depriving myself of the kinds of chaos that these games are best at, like the glorious exuberance of rebuilding a colony from one person after a dreadful invasion.

I think the quickstart guide on the wiki is fully updated to Steam version: https://dwarffortresswiki.org/index.php/Quickstart_guide

It's what I used, besides surfing Youtube tutorials.

You can also dip your toes in with the free ascii version, and use the quickstart guide for that version on the same wiki.

You reminded me Dwarf Fortress exists, I might give DF another go now, thanks.

They are probably horribly out of date, but I used the Tutorials on the wiki to get a senese of the game, mind you that was around 2013. Then I just set a goal for a run like, building a working water delivery system, trying a certain trap design, constructing a tower over the ocean, etc. Or just trying to keep my dwarves happy. My second or third fort was on a volcano and I tried to design a magma fall in the dining area. And when I felt burnt out on the game I just put it away for half a year.