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[-] Triple_B@lemmy.zip 134 points 11 months ago

SEO services, what scum.

That said, if you need a website redesign, I know a company. (/s)

[-] Dentzy@sh.itjust.works 35 points 11 months ago

Haven't you read all those concerned emails? OP's web design is great! 😂

[-] Mr_Blott@lemmy.world 63 points 11 months ago

I made it myself with no experience, and after two bottles of wine

I can assure you, sir or madam, it is utter fucking shite

[-] Vicaruz@sopuli.xyz 25 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

And that's the best kind of shite.

Edit: grammar

[-] Nougat@kbin.social 12 points 11 months ago

Technical shite.

[-] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 27 points 11 months ago

Yeah, we can thank those assholes for searches being less useful than they could be.

[-] lightnsfw@reddthat.com 5 points 11 months ago

They should all be sued into oblivion for false advertising. They're not optimizing search engines. They're shitting the up.

[-] Peppycito@sh.itjust.works 52 points 11 months ago

I took my phone number off my Google profile and the spam calls dropped off immediately. I do custom work and only locally so I don't want to cast a wide net.

I wrote my number on a piece of paper and took a picture of it and uploaded that. A low tech captcha.

[-] Mr_Blott@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

I'm lucky enough to have laws against spam calling, so it's just emails

[-] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 17 points 11 months ago

If you're looking for a way to cut down on these, you might want to try using a contact form on your website to conceal your email address. It'll still forward submissions to your email but without revealing your address. Most decent web hosts with site editor tools will provide that kind of functionality without requiring any coding/development knowledge. That said, your existing address is pretty much toast at this point so you'll need a new one regardless.

If these messages are being sent to a domain contact via public registration info, well, there's your problem. Those contacts should either be burner email addresses or be hidden behind private domain registration.

[-] Showroom7561@lemmy.ca 35 points 11 months ago

I get these all the time, so I feel your pain.

And then you get the follow-up... "I wanted to make sure you didn't ignore the last three emails I sent..." blah, blah, blah. Go swallow glass!

[-] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 33 points 11 months ago

Yes hello, I'd like to buy your 2 million dollar business for 10 bucks.

[-] zxk@lemmy.world 28 points 11 months ago

You forgot to add 'kindly' peppered in so much that it seems hostile

[-] PopShark@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago

Do the needful

[-] IphtashuFitz@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

The company I work for is mainly an internet presence with a valuation in excess of $100 million. The number of emails we get offering somewhere around $5000 for our domain name is absurd…

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 25 points 11 months ago

even if it's the top result

I feel like being the top result is the primary reason you get this spam.

[-] 1rre@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 11 months ago

Nah, I get spam for my personal website where I host projects etc and also use as a convenience domain... It's pretty clear that I don't actively want to be indexed (if they wanna do it then sure but I'm not sure what they're searching for) and yet they're still talking about how they can get me more sales for my... Open source tokeniser and instruction set I guess?

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 1 points 10 months ago

Do you have your email published on the website somewhere? Could just be because it's out in the open where all the bots can scrape it. They don't know what's on the website; only that this email is associated with one.

[-] Lifecoach5000@lemmy.world 23 points 11 months ago

One of them led with “dear” though. Are you sure it’s not just your grandma just trying to help you?

[-] Mr_Blott@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

Aye if my granny was Nigerian!

[-] thecrotch@sh.itjust.works 2 points 11 months ago

It's possible. Rough estimate about 226 million people have Nigerian grandmas.

[-] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago

I work in procurement for a fairly large company. The number of random Chinese companies that send me emails, and the random cold calls I get drive me up the wall. Like dude, if I'm qualifying new vendors, I sure as shit ain't doing it based on a cold call or random sales email. FOH.

[-] Elorie@lemmy.world 1 points 10 months ago

Same.

But, you answer your phone? 😎 Nobody I want to talk to ever calls me anymore. (That's mostly good.)

My favorite spammers are the ones who I explicitly tell "I'm not interested in doing business with you, but will keep your info on file...yada"...that double down. Like, FFS I make shampoo. There is ZERO chance of me buying circuit board subassemblies, vending machines, or livestock. Now if you've got a line on polyquat surfactants...call me.

[-] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 2 points 10 months ago

No, the only time I answer is usually when I'm expecting an urgent call from a vendor and I see a random number call so I go oh hey, maybe this is them, then I get to deal with some sales pitch. I usually am a bit of a dick to them and just cut them off mid sentence. "Is this a sales call? I only answered because I was expecting an important call. I need to go."

[-] NoSpiritAnimal@lemmy.world 21 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Yes! Hello, please you are wondering how can you access of wonderful database of kindly line producers for your business sector! Please kindly to contact our emails below for the complete listung with our discounted rates.

Romantically Yours,

笨蛋

Kingfuck Limited, Guangzhou Guangdong

[-] shininghero@kbin.social 21 points 11 months ago

If you have admin portal access to write transport rules, I recommend writing a rule that has the server reply with a 550 5.7.1 Delivery Refused error. Trigger it based on the keyphrases "top of Google search" and "affordable SEO" to start with.

[-] Mr_Blott@lemmy.world 44 points 11 months ago

Pffffffffftt I was barely able to make a website without actually accidentally uploading a picture of my balls mate 😂

[-] lvxferre@lemmy.ml 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

If you want, you could use GMail filters to delete those emails automatically. Here's how:

  1. click the engine button (settings), then "see all settings", then "filters and blocked addresses".
  2. click "create a new filter". Add "top of Google search" to the field "has the words", leave other fields blank.
  3. click "create filter", then check the "delete it" box, then "create filter" again.
  4. repeat steps 2-3 for other shit that SEO spam is likely to mention.

Important: never use as a filter anything that legitimate users might reasonably say. Only things that you're fairly certain to come from a spammer.

EDIT: I repeated two steps without noticing it. My bad.

[-] SoonaPaana@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

OP I highly recommend following these steps to create your custom filter to clear your inbox! There are also plugins that you can use to do this. It is not required but maybe less intimidating to use.

[-] DudeDudenson 3 points 11 months ago

I recommend not deleting it but rather creating a label and checking the skip invoice box. That way you still have access to them if someone legitimately sent you an email that matched the query

[-] lvxferre@lemmy.ml 1 points 11 months ago

creating a label and checking the skip invoice box

That works great too, specially if you want to use less foolproof filters. Or even a mix of both strategies.

[-] shuzuko@midwest.social 2 points 11 months ago

Damn, this is helpful. I (ops manager) just manually delete these as I see them, but I don't always get to all of them in the main company inbox before the owner sees them and I sometimes have to field questions about "are you sure our SEO is good?" I'm going to set this up, lol.

[-] CosmicTurtle@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

Pretty sure that's desert terrain.

[-] Devi@kbin.social 14 points 11 months ago

I have access to the email of a rescue I work for, like dogs and cats. The amount of these we get is ridiculous. We don't want to be the top of google! We already get 7 million emails asking us to take animals or idiots looking for a free puppy for christmas!

[-] stackPeek@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

This is why I believe cold emailing doesn't work 😅😅

[-] specseaweed@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

The ones selling health insurance are awful too. No dude I don’t want your trash ass probably fake insurance coverage that you’re trying to sell me from a spoofed number.

[-] bmlzootown@lemmy.ml 10 points 11 months ago

I occasionally get acquisition emails for a Roku channel I develop/maintain that are of a similar ilk. They always brag about how many channels they've acquired, which I've never understood.

[-] hperrin@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago

I wrote an email service specifically to prevent this. It’s not ready for businesses yet (because I don’t have custom domain support yet), but check it out if you’re interested: https://port87.com

[-] prowess2956@kbin.social 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

~~Looks like a cool service. I may have missed it, but is your privacy policy linked anywhere on your site?~~ (I'm old - my eyes missed the small text)
And how do you get an invite code?

[-] hperrin@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

You can sign up on the waitlist and I’ll send one to you. I usually send them out during the morning (Pacific time) to everyone on the list. The waitlist is just there so I can ramp up users slowly. Once I figure out the limits of the current servers, I’ll know how to configure automatic provisioning, and I won’t need a waitlist.

[-] bluGill@kbin.social 9 points 11 months ago

I don't even own a business, and I get that all the time. I just have a custom domain for my email.

[-] ButtCheekOnAStick@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Are you sure you don't need a website redesign? My company can get you on the right track!

[-] cleanandsunny@literature.cafe 5 points 11 months ago

Ugh, yes. The joys of small businesses, alongside the rare spam call about “funding.” Thankfully these emails all go to my spam filter now! But it is super annoying.

[-] HolyDuckTurtle@kbin.social 5 points 11 months ago

I worked with a startup once where we had individual company emails and had a good giggle at how different the spam is compared to personal stuff! Mostly in our case it was dubious offers of office space, furniture and other such services.

[-] Nouveau_Burnswick@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

Hi! I was checking your website.

[-] francisfordpoopola@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

I'm not alone. Thank you.

this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2024
302 points (95.8% liked)

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