I'm in the same boat as you, my father was disconnected, absent, aloof, mean, or drunk. The generations raised by boomers seem adamant to not repeat the abuse and neglect we received. I'm sure some is the lead as others have mentioned, but I think it goes back further and has more causes.

When my partner and I discussed the parallels in our dysfunctional families, we realized that our parents had similar histories of emotional and almost certainly physical abuse at the hands of their parents. The Greatest generation really did a number on them.

In addition to that, boomers felt the pressure to start families, but are the first generation to do so after suburbanization took hold. Add to this their own great numbers in comparison to their parents generation, and you have an enormous number of households going it alone for the first time. I think generations before the boomers had a lot more community resources to fall back on, since people were less spread out.

Another likely factor is all the propaganda they were fed. Baby boomers grew up in the start of the cold war and had their opinions and values shaped by the flood of propaganda that came with that. I don't know if we'll ever understand the damage that did, just having the backround noise of your life be the growth of the modern propaganda machine. Is it any wonder boomers find comfort in the conservative alternate reality? Its the only world they've ever known.

I can see that. My father started getting sick when I was about 10 and died just after I turned 13 so I don't have resentment since it wasn't his choice but was also kinda latchkey child.

Lead probably played a part. Plus your father may of been replicating the people around him. Or your father and you may have different job expectations. Or(and this is probably true) you saw how you felt when your father wasn't involved and made it a priority for you to be involved in your child life.

There are a thousand reasons that may be. That's why single experiences are not evidence.

I'm not a scientist, I don't know what I'm talking about. I could be wrong, it's just a hypothesis based on my own observations. I'm just thinking there are probably societal factors at play also.

I was astonished at the extent to which popular culture lied to me about diaper changing. Every TV or movie depiction of a man dealing with a baby includes him absolutely losing his goddamn mind over how difficult and gross diaper changing is. From fiction, you'd have thought that changing diapers was as difficult as gathering honey from a wasp's nest. In reality, I adjusted to that in less than a couple of weeks.

Now the fact that babies and toddlers can get so tired that they can't go to sleep, that was an unpleasant and unexpected revelation.

Then the kids get potty trained and it’s like the sun comes out from behind a poop cloud