It's because you make them unsure of themselves. Maybe. If they say they feel gaslit around you, because you make them think, maybe remind them "gaslighting" is more convincing them they're crazy, not wrong exactly. This can also seem like gaslighting to that type.

Personality disorder characterized by persistent antisocial behavior, impaired empathy and remorse, and bold, disinhibited, and egotistical traits Wikipedia

Seems you’re not since in this post you show empathy, remorse, and examining your flaws is anti-egotistical. Though you may think of not conforming to social norms as antisocial behavior, many people do this and put on a “public” facade.

Though, being “honest to a fault” is a little antisocial depending on how far you take that. Is it just “I never give a lie to a direct question.” Or: Do you always correct people who you know told a lie? Do you interject in stories where a lie has been told? Do you tell people unsolicited truths that are hurtful? Some would consider the latter list of behaviors to be antisocial.

It’s good to self-evaluate. I know I have some manipulative habits, I definitely lie too easily, sometimes without remorse, but I don’t fit a majority of the markers: I feel immense remorse at certain things, I’m not arrogant, I’m genuinely helpful, not just manipulatively so, etc. I would consider talking more in dept with your friends that want to cut ties or express frustration and hear out their concerns. We all have areas for self improvement, so don’t just yourself too harshly. Maybe as another commenter suggested, go to therapy and see what you can uncover.

The fact you are even asking this makes me think you’re not a psychopath or sociopath.

A (psycho/socio)path would probably not be introspective at that accusation. They would probably just dismiss it or be angry that someone could even think that about them.

I am not a therapist or licensed to diagnose someone and no professional would/could ever diagnose someone without meeting them and interacting.

I would strongly suggest seeking out a therapist. I am a huge proponent of therapy for everyone - everyone needs an impartial party to talk to about things, even when things are going well.

this includes things like not lying,

Then stay quiet, if what you have to say is only negative. A white lie is OK to not make people sad or offend them if it's matters of little importance. There's this thing called being polite. And that includes for instance saying dinner is nice when it isn't.

I'm guessing you are a bit autistic, i can absolutely relate to what you say, and the above took me decades to learn, and I'm still struggling with it.

I used to. I mean, I still do, but I used to, too and the way I think about it now is just different. Went to a doctor because of it.

Turns out it was just a combination of ADHD and Borderline Personality Disorder. Maybe autism (but they wanted a specialist to handle that and I haven't done it yet).

As people are saying, a true psychopath might not even question themselves. That said, it is probably a spectrum and we all may have such tendencies - and I mean like 100% of the population, as a shared human condition, to lie somewhere on that spectrum. It seems a good thing to me to examine myself in that manner and maybe dial down, or perhaps even dial up, those things. Especially when others misuse the words, twisting them to suit their own perspectives - e.g. calling someone "unstable" if they want to escape them, the abuser.

Also there are generational differences, and even generational (and other) traps - e.g. a lot of older MAGA parents in the midwestern USA have been abandoned by their children, who want to do things like "take the vaccine" (which I chose to highlight the discussion since it is a decision involving fully literal life-and-death consequences, plus also likelihood of permanent brain damage, which is what we now know long-covid to be), so in such cases is it truly the children who are being "unstable" and "aggressive" to leave, or rather the fault of the parents who attempt to force their christofacist belief structures onto their children, leaving no room in the latter to have their own thoughts or desires?

These are complex, weighty matters, and won't be resolved quickly, but are good to think about regardless.

Literally all the time

Everyone manipulates everyone around them unknowingly all the time. Even altruistic behavior exists partly because it makes other people think good things about you.

Only if you'd stop all human contact would you stop that. We're built to want things (mostly sex+resources) from other people, and we're equipped to get it.

We also all have "dark" ("psychopathic") thoughts & behaviors that we're hiding, not only from others but also ourselves. Some people embrace them more than others, some people resist them more than others.

I can suggest The Moral Animal for deeper understanding.

If that's the case I'm a lousy one.

I choose to handle this by not interacting with people.

No. I don't do any of this stuff and it has never occurred to me to do it.

No. I have not thought that.

Maybe reflect on how the other person is feeling with your comments and adapt if possible. Sometimes you can't. My SO grandma says racist stuff to me all the time and I just laugh inside. I could debate her but what value is there for me. She's on deaths door anyway. Grandma also used to trash talk mom until my SO said stop it. Those are examples of Just go with the flow or end the behavior that is causing stress.

My wife, a psychologist, says that you could be a psychopath, but its much more likely you have borderline personality disorder or are on the austism spectrum

i don't because i don't meet the diagnostic criteria for ASPD

No. That's a very weird thing to wonder about and almost makes me think you might actually be a psycho.

With a name like Thorny_Insight, I imagine you’ve already accepted and internalized the possibility that your internally critical mindset is equally external. This doesn’t make you evil, it doesn’t make you awful to be around, it just means that you have embraced the personality that you currently question, even if it isn’t who you truly are.

The world is becoming a very different place and the personality you have is one which is constantly questioned by people that think what is good is conformity and acceptance of anything and everything. There is no reason you need to conform or accept everything at face value.

https://www.amazon.com/Gaslighting-Recognize-Manipulative-Emotionally-People/dp/0738284661/

The fact that you're bothered by the question rules-out your being a ( intrinsic/brain ) psychopath,

but mentally/abuse/culturally induced sociopathy is a thing ( I've some ),

and even that is beside the point.

Please invest in that excellent book & earn becoming ore whole.

_ /\ _

No, because I knowingly manipulate the people around me. I'm firmly against violence, including emotional and verbal violence, so I make the effort to manipulate people with misdirection and incentives rather than threats or punishment.

Every manipulates others all the time, whether they know it or not, whether they admit it or not. The important thing is to do it ethically, and how can you do that if you're not aware of the effects you have on others?

It's good that you are engaging in self-examination in this way. I might suggest that there's a difference between being honest and being blunt. Just because you refuse to lie does not mean you always need to tell the truth, rather that you only tell the truth. You're allowed to keep silent, to leave a true-but-painful confrontation unspoken.

Troll.