Check out awesome self host. There's a good list and I'm confident you'll find what you're looking for :)
Search this community for works like quickbooks, odoo, firefly etc. and you'll find recommendation threads. I'm on my phone and I'm too lazy to go back and forth linking each one.
This isn’t exactly an answer, but something like Baserow or NocoDB could be helpful. They’re self hosted versions of Airtable (if you’ve ever used that). Basically it’s a very fancy spreadsheet that can be used to do a ton of custom logic. If you can’t find software that fits your exact needs, chances are you could set something up with one of these! Good luck!
Interested to see what you come up with. I manage our personal finances along with my wife's consulting business. I switched to Quicken about a year ago. I don't regret switching because it's does the job better than anything else I've used. But I'm not 100% satisfied either and if I found a better solution, I would seriously consider it.
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