Haha, not sure if it's possible to definitively anything that can't be measured empirically. Glad you're in a safe place ☺️
Yeah, I don't have the best answers. What do you feel like your living as your true self is missing? Do you feel yourself making progress to that vision? What's missing?
Have you tried contacting either your ISP or the router manufacturer?
I had a similar issue and my ISP mentioned that there was another setting I had to change on my bridged router. I never would have found it without calling them up.
This is the way.
I always end up wishing strong narrative focused games like Red Dead Redemption 2 would have female protagonists. Alas.
I've found that tabletop roleplaying games like Dungeons and Dragons, Monster of the Week, The Sprawl, and so on are so much better to get those kinds of "this is me!" stories. If you haven't found much community yet for yourself (an important step for me, personally) I would look for queer roleplaying groups in your city or online.
That's really exciting!
What has helped me is to focus less on labels and more on how I'm reacting emotionally to different things. Like, how happy I felt seeing myself in a blouse and skirt for the first time. Or how badly I felt understanding that a conversation about "girls night" wasn't an invitation to me. Or the relief of telling my partner what support looked like for me as I figure all of my own stuff out. Getting "sir"'d at a local bakery.
Like, I can either fall into the self-critical trap and view it as "evidence" of how valid my ideas of myself are or aren't. Or I can chase those things that makes me feel whole, good, and welcome and trust that the work I put into being fulfilled in life is going to make everything I do that much more wonderful to experience.
At least that's what I tell myself. Who knows how good I actually am about it. Being human is inherently messy and full of mistakes and learning from them.
Nonbinary here as well, also having electrolysis done; and these are my own thoughts and don't really apply to anyone but me.
I kinda consider myself transitioning even if I'm not transitioning to be a girl. Reasoning: I'm making changes in my life that help me realize my true self.
Right now, for me, that means a name change, electrolysis, t-blockers, and dressing more androgynously and femme as I feel comfortable doing. Each one of these on their own is a step in my transition.
Words like trans and transitioning mean different things to different people in different contexts.
The most important thing, though, is being free to express your own experience.
Damn, all of this person’s art is incredible
Cult of the Lamb's latest content release is bringing 2-player local coop