You put it out in the universe. You’re doomed to go through another one!

(I’ve been in IT for 10 years, I don’t wish this on my worst enemy, sorry for your luck.)

This will be buried but it’s my take on it and whatever…

So I was Army for a while - away from the wife and kid (at the time only one now I’m up to 2 I’m winning life) and it boils down to two separate issues: can the husband deal or the wife.

Men take a ton of shit going through military service so having solid ground back home is like winning the lottery. You never think it’s going to happen, you get excited it might, but it never does. I’m not dogging women in this at all but we are all just humans who want comfort in some way.

So I approach this from the woman’s side. She wants to know that’s her man. Only hers no one else’s. That’s the hero she married and cameras ain’t gonna make a shit stain difference in it. But she’s still scared so she asks for it.

Young men don’t have brains lol. We don’t think we just do. And I approach this with several years of learning from my mistakes. Which this man didn’t have. Yet. Hopefully now he does.

It’s easier to paint the woman the villain for not “supporting the ‘hero’” (yes that’s double quotes cause signing a paper is easy as hell) but to marry someone and just decided to leave… that’s not how the army works or any military branch for that matter.

Sounds to me like the man had a kid, decided that’s not the life he wanted, fucked that life up and here we are. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong but… here we are.

My wife says my brain is broken - because I’ve always treated everyone exactly the same. I wouldn’t say something to a guy I couldn’t say to a gal, it’s just not who I am. With that, I believe and understand that we all have the same emotions and should be free (within reason, don’t stab people) to express those feelings. Hopefully in a constructive way but sometimes you just gotta let shit out or vent.

I don’t believe it’s fair to treat someone different because “well x gender shouldn’t act like that.” Shut up you don’t know, none of us know for sure this jello we have in our skulls or how it’s going to interpret the information we receive or how that might make us feel until it happens. And even then, depending on the situation, it could be something we’ve experienced before and we feel a different way about it this one time.

I have a daughter, I don’t want people telling her how to feel or “you have to be pretty so you can get a boyfriend”. Be yourself, have fun, come work on cars with me and go fishing, go with your mom when she gets her nails done, be you. And anyone who isn’t ok with you being you can come talk to me. Gendering the way we feel or how we should react is just stupid. I’m sorry you had to go through that.

The gunpowder treason and plot. I know of no reason the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.

Sorry can’t read it without finishing it…

In my experience as a veteran with PTSD - not really. The only difference I can tell between my PTSD and someone who has family trauma from my therapy group is veterans want to hide from it - I did for a long time. It took an immense amount of support and love from my family to finally seek out therapy, and even then I still have outbursts every now and then. They are fewer for sure but it’s something I’m going to be living with for the rest of my life.

It will take a lot of patience if you want to get involved with him, and even more support at times. I can’t speak for every veteran though we are all different and everyone’s experiences differ in ways.

Hope this helps.

No joke. I still have mine from back in the day and I took notes on this shit and still have no idea what it’s about.

In the deepest pits of my soul - I hate you. I haven’t thought of that in 10 years damn it.

Have you played Judgement? It was supposed to be the successor to Yakuza.

I really liked the Yakuza games. They’ve improved a lot over the years, the story is engaging, and there’s tons of fun side stuff to do. Although the audio is all in Japanese, so you have to read subtitles.

For sure and good looking out!

The good: you can rely on me. If I say I’m going to do something or be somewhere, I always see it through.

The bad: I don’t sleep. Not healthy and bad for your brain.

The ugly: the amount of beer I go through in a week has increased exponentially since 2020 and I kinda don’t want to lower it back down.

Before the pandemic and everything I was a social drinker, would go to a bar once a week, hang out with pals and have a few, Uber home and all good. Once I lost being able to go out I lost most of my buddies too. I still have my friends, the close ones, and we all relied on each other to make it through the isolation but none of them live here any longer so being social and going out isn’t something I get to do anymore sadly. That and the crushing knowledge of all the people who died kinda has me not making great choices.

Sorry probably over shared there at the end.

I’m not either for narcissistic behavior or ADHD being the cause.

I have several TBIs (traumatic brain induries) and I act like he does sometimes. Most of the time I can catch myself but everyone once in a while I’ll go into full “you’re all wrong, I’m right and stop hating on me” mode even when I am wrong. But I always admit I’m wrong afterwards.

It’s a maturity and, hate to say it, grace thing. Even when you mess up this bad, and then do it again, and then a third time, you have to step up and admit you made a mistake.

I have brain damage and I can do it. It’s just learning how to do it. Making that effort. I don’t think he knows how to do it or has never fucked up bad enough to want to learn how to admit to mistakes, or the reactions have never been negative enough for him to own up to it.

Either way - he messed up and should sit and think about it before doing anything else. He didn’t do that and it’s going to cost him. Maybe not a lot but something.